Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 16
Reagan Brand Economics
President Ronald Reagan…..Joe Piscopo
FADE IN:[ INT. KITCHEN – MORNING ] [ A WIFE serves three children gumbo from a pot. She turns to her husbandHARRY whose sitting at the table. ]
Wife: More rat-tail gumbo, darling?
Harry: Oh come on!! This slop again!?!? When can we have some real food!?[ Wife sits down. ]
Wife: Harry, you haven’t had a job in six months!
Harry: I can’t take this anymore! Everything we worked for has been wiped out!![ PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN turns around from kitchen counter. ]
President Ronald Reagan: Hey Harry! Why so tense?[ President Reagan takes a seat. ]
Harry: Oh… Hi President Reagan.
President Ronald Reagan: Relax.
Harry: I don’t know. I guess it’s this economy. My banker tells me the highinterest rates and tight money are killing me.
President Ronald Reagan: Well, why not try Reagan Brand Economics?
Harry: I only try real economic programs.
President Ronald Reagan: Well, Reagan Brand Economics is real economics. 100%supply-side economics, but with no human compassion whatsoever.[ President Reagan pulls out an information packet from his jacket and hands it to Harry. ]
President Ronald Reagan: Here. Try some.
Harry: Hey! Wow! This trickle-down theory is really something! Cuts out alot the waste. Doesn’t it?
President Ronald Reagan: Sure! Give it time.[ TITLE CARD: THREE MONTHS LATER ] [ INT. KITCHEN – MORNING ] [ Harry’s wife is serving President Reagan some gumbo. ]
President Ronald Reagan: Enough rat-tail gumbo for me?
Harry & Wife: I’ll say!
Harry: Thanks to Reagan Brand Economics, two of our children are dead andwe sold the other one.[ President Reagan laughs it up. ]
President Ronald Reagan: Reagan Brand Economics from Washington — where the D.C.stands for “Don’t Care”![ TITLE CARD: REAGAN BRAND ECONOMICS ]
Submitted by: Cody Downs