Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 17
April 17th, 1982
The Train of Life
The HoneyrooneysSummary: Andy Rooney (Joe Piscopo) points out the idiosyncrasies of “The Honeymooners” while starring in an episode.
Recurring Characters: Andy Rooney.
Elton John performs “Empty Garden”Transcript
Frankie’s Last RequestSummary: Death row inmate Frankie (Eddie Murphy) makes a last request to hear Johnny Cash sing “99,999 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”
SNL Newsbreak with Brian Doyle-Murray & Christine EbersoleRecurring Characters: Dr. Jack Badofsky.
Johnny Cash performs “I Walk The Line”, “Folsom Prison Blues” & “Ring of Fire”
Hail to the ChiefSummary: Bored after returning from his vacation in Barbados, President Ronald Reagan (Joe Piscopo) amuses himself by directing Margaret Thatcher (Mary Gross) and Leopoldo Galtieri (Brian Doyle-Murray) to kiss and make out.
Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Ed Meese, Margaret Thatcher.
Jay Clay Gets DepressedSummary: A clay figurine contemplates suicide in a Timothy Hittle claymation film.
Tegrim ShampooSummary: Kathy’s (Robin Duke) roommate (Christine Ebersole) shows her how to use Johnny Cash’s dark clothing to detect her problem dandruff.
Elton John performs “Ball & Chain”Transcript
The Train PoetSummary: While riding a train, a Poet (Johnny Cash) recides an ode to the romance of the rails.
Black TalkSummary: Two black men (Eddie Murphy, Clint Smith) ramble to one another.
Johnny Cash performs “Sunday Morning Coming Down”
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