Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 7: Episode 17
Tegrim Shampoo
Roommate…..Christine Ebersole
Kathy…..Robin Duke
…..Johnny Cash
[FADE IN on a blonde woman walking up to an open door.]
Roommate: [through door] Kathy, it’s almost time for the party!
Kathy: [whining] Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…
[Kathy walks out of the room in a blue dress slip.]
Kathy: I don’t know WHAT to WEAR! What about my new cocktail dress?
Roommate: [doubtfully] You mean the black one?
Kathy: Uh-huh!
Roommate: Maybe you better not.
Kathy: Why not?
Rooomate: [puts an arm around her shoulders] Kathy, have you ever thought about problem dandruff? Maybe you need Tegrim.
Kathy: ME? I don’t have dandruff!
Roommate: Well, here. Let’s take the test.
[CUT to the living room, where Johnny Cash is sitting on a sofa, his arms propped up nonchalantly on the back. Kathy and her friend walk up behind him as the audience laughs.]
Roommate: Shake your hair over Johnny Cash.
[Kathy shrugs.]
Roommate: Go ahead.
[Kathy shakes her hair down on Johnny’s right shoulder. Audience laughs as he brushes off his shoulder and she stares at his suit in disbelief.]
Kathy: Ohhh! You’re right! I DO have problem DANDRUFF!
[Johnny continues brushing off his arm and the rest of his black suit. Kathy and her roommate lean down over his shoulders.]
Roommate: [to camera] Can YOUR hair pass the Tegrim test? Shake YOUR head over Johnny Cash. If it shows up on the man in black:
Kathy and Roommate: Time for Tegrim.
[SUPERIMPOSE those words over bottom of screen. Both women smile sweetly as Johnny finishes dusting off Kathy’s dandruff and stares expressionless into the camera. FADE to black over applause.]
Submitted by: Sean
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