Ebony & Ivory
Producer…..Tim Kazurinsky
Frank Sinatra…..Joe Piscopo
Secretary…..Tony Rosato
Stevie Wonder…..Eddie Murphy
[ open on a Recording Studio ]
Producer: Everything’s ready. We’re all set to record, as soon as he gets here, Mr. Sinatra.
Frank Sinatra: [ turns around ] Good.. good.. good. Son, come here. Come here. [ grabs his shoulder ] How does the album sound so far?
Producer: Oh, it’s excellent, Mr. Sinatra.
Frank Sinatra: Thank you, thank you, that’s very nice. I want to do some tunes that the young people will enjoy. That’s why I’m calling this album “Frank Sings Tunes the Young People Will Enjoy”.
Secretary: [ opens door and peeks in ] Uh.. excuse me, Mr. Sinatra, Sir? He’s here.
Frank Sinatra: Show him in.
[ Secretary pulls Stevie Wonder into the recording studio ]
Frank Sinatra: Stevie Wonder! Stevie Wonder! You are aptly named! Like I’ve said many times, you are truly a wonder!
Stevie Wonder: Thank you, Frank.
Frank Sinatra: Let me ask you something: Do you do your own hair?
Stevie Wonder: Uh.. no, I don’t.
Frank Sinatra: Then you’ve got no excuse! Little joke, Stevie, it looks great. Come on over here to the piano. It’s right in front of you, my friend. [ Stevie sits ] You alright there?
Stevie Wonder: You know, Frank, I feel it is a.. tremendous honor to be.. recording with you.
Frank Sinatra: Thank you, Stevie. I feel the same. I am very much into that tune you do with the Beatle kid – uh, what’s his name? The one that looks like a broad?
Stevie Wonder: His name is Paul McCartney, Frank.
Frank Sinatra: Yeah, yeah, yeah.. that’s the dude. Uh.. would you be so kind as to run down that song for me, Stevie? Please?
Stevie Wonder: Alright. [ plays piano ] “Ebony and Ivory
live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my..”
Frank Sinatra: [ interrupting ] Stevie, Stevie.. hold it, Stevie. Now, something tells me that this is more than a song about playing the piano.
Stevie Wonder: Uh.. uh.. Frank, it’s about racial equality and unity of all people.
Frank Sinatra: Well, uh.. I don’t understand. When I think of Ebony, I think of a magazine that most people do not buy. And when I think of Ivory, I think of a soap that floats.
Stevie Wonder: Ebony and Ivory are the black and white keys on the piano, Frank.
Frank Sinatra: Alright, Stevie, I know that. You know that. But it’s too artsy for the public – capiche? Now, I talekd to the master, Sammy Kahn. Now, Sammy is a marvelous, marvelous songwriter – no offense, Stevie. And, uh.. Sammy thinks we should go with something like Chocolate and Vanilla. Or, how about this: “Life is an Eskimo Pie, why don’t we take a bite?”
Stevie Wonder: I’m afraid that might be a bit offensive to some people.
Frank Sinatra: Hey, who cares what the Eskimos think – they don’t buy records, huh? [ thinking ] Okay, Stevie.. let’s see.. Ebony and Ivory, huh? Ebony and Ivory.. [ stops ] Hey, Stevie, waht the hell are we beating around the bush for? This is 1982. Let’s get right to the point! Huh? Hey, take it from the top. Swing it, Stevie! With a bounce, baby! [ sits next to Stevie ]
[ Stevie starts the song again ]
Frank Sinatra: “You are black, and I am white
Life’s an Eskimo Pie, let’s.. take a bite!
That was groovy thinkin’
Lincoln, when you set them freeeeeee…
We all know
Cats are the same
Maine to Mexico.
Good. Bad.
Guys and chicks!”
Stevie Wonder: “I am dark, and you are light.”
Frank Sinatra: “You are blind as a bat, and I have sight!
Side by side, you are my amigo,
Negro, let’s not fiiiiiiiight!”
Stevie Wonder: “Ebony, ivory
Living in perfect harmony.”
Frank Sinatra: “Salt and pepper,
Sammy and Dean
Stevie and me are peachy keen!”
Stevie Wonder: “You are white.”
Frank Sinatra: “You are black – and who cares!”
Who cares, baby!
[ zoom out to fade ]
