SNL Transcripts: Chevy Chase: 09/25/82


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 8: Episode 1

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


September 25nd, 1982

Chevy Chase



John Zacherle

Danny DeVito

Gene Siskel

Roger Ebert
Live From BurbankSummary: Chevy Chase appears via live video to explain that, due to a missed flight, he’ll be hosting SNL from Burbank, California, not New York City. A stagehand then accidentally drops the TV set while wheeling Chevy to his first sketch.



Chevy Chase’s MonologueSummary: Chevy Chase addresses the audience from a damaged video screen.


Tyrone GreenSummary: African-American artist Tyrone Green (Eddie Murphy) demonstrates his hatred of white people and the violent nature of his work.

Recurring Characters: Tyrone Green.


Joe Piscopo Loves Rose KennedySummary: Joe Piscopo announces that he and Rose Kennedy are in love, and asks Rose to marry him.

John Hinckley For PresidentSummary: Ronald Reagan’s would-be assassin (Brad Hall) announces his presidential candidacy, and a duel platform of familiarity with the judicial system combined with outright insanity.


Mystery TheatreSummary: Zacherle presents a brief scene in which the Land Shark (Chevy Chase), via satellite, attempts to gain entry into a woman’s (Julia Louis-Dreyfous) residence.

Recurring Characters: Land Shark.

Popiel Galactic ProphylacticSummary: Ron Popeil (Eddie Murphy) touts his amazing steel-reinforced condom and matching diaphragm.


Late Night with David LettermanSummary: David Letterman (Joe Piscopo) presents a film from the perspective of his dog, Bob, and interviews guest Gumby (Eddie Murphy).

Recurring Characters: David Letterman, Gumby.

Saturday Night News with Brad HallSummary: Joe Piscopo reports on sports. Brad Hall delivers an editorial on James Watt, then phones him at home and calls him a slime. Father Andrew B. Titus (Tim Kazurinsky) reviews the Reader’s Digest condensed Bible. Chevy Chase reports from Burbank instead of from Beirut.


Queen performs “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”

Alan, A Video JunkieSummary: A profile of an adolescent boy who is destructively addicted to video games.

PTC ClubSummary: Preternaturally cheeful “prophet” April May June (Julia Louis Dreyfus) and a televangelist (Brad Hall) advocate the good word of Jesus, and a faith healer (Gary Kroeger) winds his way through the audience.

Recurring Characters: April May June.

Siskel & EbertSummary: Film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert give their critique of the episode while it’s still in progress.


Queen performs “Under Pressure”


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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