SNL Transcripts: Louis Gossett, Jr.: 10/02/82: Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 8: Episode 2



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82b: Louis Gossett, Jr. / George Thoroughgood & The Destroyers

Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix

Mrs. T…..Robin Duke
…..Mr. T

[FADE IN on a minibar with Mr. T. standing in front and Robin Duke as Mrs. T standing behind the counter. She is wearing a pink sleeveless vest and a bald wig, plus a light orange Mohawk with feathers attached.)

Mrs. T: [hollering in a hoarse voice] You’s meetin’ me and my husband Mr. T!! You should be drinkin’ Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix!! I pity the fool that doesn’t drink it!! I pity the fool!! Ain’t that right, Mr. T?!

Mr. T: [points and snarls at camera] I pity the fool!

Mrs. T: Now if you want the real Bloody Mary, you come to my apartment tonight, I SHOW you a real Bloody Mary!! You hear?!

Mr. T: [points at her] She showed me!

Mrs. T: [yells at him] Shut it off, old man, and lemme finish!! The strategy for a real bloody Mary is three parts Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix, and one part vodka!

[She dumps a bunch of mix into a glass, then dashes in some vodka]

Mrs. T: Then you drink it down!

[She chugs drink and wipes off her mouth]

Mrs. T: That’s MEAN! Now if any man says to me he doesn’t want Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix, I say to him, “SHUT UP, OLD MAN!! SHUT UP!!” Then I kill him to death!! I kill the man!! But I pity him first!!! It’s a bloody shame! It’s Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix!!

Mr. T: [pointing and glowering at camera] Buy it, or I’ll kill you!

[Mr. and Mrs. T pick up their drinks and smash them together so hard that the tumblers break. Plastic shards and liquid spill on the bar as Mr. and Mrs. T lick Bloody Mary mix off their hands and glare at each other. Mrs. T holds out her hands as if to say, “You want a piece of me?” FADE OUT.]

Submitted by: Joe Cornfield

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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