SNL Transcripts: Louis Gossett, Jr.: 10/02/82: Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 8: Episode 2

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82b: Louis Gossett, Jr. / George Thoroughgood & The Destroyers

Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix

Mrs. T…..Robin Duke
…..Mr. T

[FADE IN on a minibar with Mr. T. standing in front and Robin Duke as Mrs. T standing behind the counter. She is wearing a pink sleeveless vest and a bald wig, plus a light orange Mohawk with feathers attached.)

Mrs. T: [hollering in a hoarse voice] You’s meetin’ me and my husband Mr. T!! You should be drinkin’ Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix!! I pity the fool that doesn’t drink it!! I pity the fool!! Ain’t that right, Mr. T?!

Mr. T: [points and snarls at camera] I pity the fool!

Mrs. T: Now if you want the real Bloody Mary, you come to my apartment tonight, I SHOW you a real Bloody Mary!! You hear?!

Mr. T: [points at her] She showed me!

Mrs. T: [yells at him] Shut it off, old man, and lemme finish!! The strategy for a real bloody Mary is three parts Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix, and one part vodka!

[She dumps a bunch of mix into a glass, then dashes in some vodka]

Mrs. T: Then you drink it down!

[She chugs drink and wipes off her mouth]

Mrs. T: That’s MEAN! Now if any man says to me he doesn’t want Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix, I say to him, “SHUT UP, OLD MAN!! SHUT UP!!” Then I kill him to death!! I kill the man!! But I pity him first!!! It’s a bloody shame! It’s Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix!!

Mr. T: [pointing and glowering at camera] Buy it, or I’ll kill you!

[Mr. and Mrs. T pick up their drinks and smash them together so hard that the tumblers break. Plastic shards and liquid spill on the bar as Mr. and Mrs. T lick Bloody Mary mix off their hands and glare at each other. Mrs. T holds out her hands as if to say, “You want a piece of me?” FADE OUT.]

Submitted by: Joe Cornfield

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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