SNL Transcripts: Ron Howard: 10/09/82: Ron Howard’s Monologue



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 8: Episode 3



82c: Ron Howard / The Clash

Ron Howard’s Monologue

…..Ron Howard

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen – Ron Howard!

Ron Howard: Thank you! I have really been looking forward to doing the show tonight, because I have spent my entire life.. in prime-time.. being repressed. But this – this is late-night. This is live! This is my time to fly! So what if it’s past my bedtime? I’m up! I’m finally gonna get to say some of the things, and do some of the things, that they’d never let me touch on prime-time televison. For example, here’s something they’d never let me say.. [ pulls index card from out of his pocket ] ..“Doo-doo”. Are we still on the air? Okay, here’s another one.. [ reads ] ..”Premarital Sex”. That’s right – Intercourse“. “Jock Itch”. [ looks at card ] Ah, yeah, here’s another good one: “Prophylactic”.

[ changes subject ]

Another thing, too.. [ pulls can of beer out of pocket ] I drank beer on “Happy Days”, but it was prime-time beer. It was fake beer! You all knew that, right? Well, let me tell you something.. [ pops open can ] ..this is the real stuff! [ chugs beer ] Yeah! [ drinks more ] Yeah, this show has been a real liberating experience! We’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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