Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 8: Episode 4
82d: Howard Hesseman / Men At Work
Good Morning America
Steve Bell…..Gary Kroeger
David Hartman…..Joe Piscopo
[FADE IN on the Good Morning America logo while the theme music plays for several seconds. FADE to Joe Piscopo as host David Hartman. He stares into the camera, with his mouth open slightly, and speaks in a really dopey voice.]
David Hartman: Good morning, good morning, ummmm… Thank you for tuning IN, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh duhhhhhhh, Im David Hartman, ummmmmm, uhhhhh, good morning, uhhhhhhhhhhhh…
[PAN back to show a female mannequin with blonde hair and a black dress in the chair next to David.]
David Hartman: Its nice to be here, nice to have you with us, um, uh, this is Joan Lunden, uhhhhhhhhhhh… ummmmmmmmm, Joan, you look great, I dont know how you do it, uhhh, you just look terrific as usual, uhhhhhhhh…
[David tugs on the mannequins dress sleeve and turns back to camera]
David Hartman: You know, ummmmm, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, SO much has happened, uh, while you were asleep. Right now, lets go to Steve Bell in Washington for the news. [turns to TV monitor] Uh, good morning, Steve!
Steve Bell: Good morning, David.
David Hartman: Good morning!
Steve Bell: Tell Joan good morning, David.
David Hartman: [to mannequin] Good morning, Joan! [to TV] She says good morning, Steve.
Steve Bell: Good morning, David.
David Hartman: Good morning!
Steve Bell: Thats it from Washington, David.
David Hartman: Well, um, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thank you, Steve Bell!
Steve Bell: Good morning, David.
David Hartman: Good morning, Steve!
Steve Bell: Good morning, Joan!
David Hartman: [to mannqeuin] Good morning, Joan! [to TV] Good morning, Steve.
Steve Bell: Good morning, David.
David Hartman: [to camera] Good morning! Its ten past the hour. Ummmmm, uhhhhh, you know, I used to be an actor, and uhhh, I dont usually do this, but because… [shrugs and slaps knees] …mmmmmm, well–so many people went to so much trouble. Someone dug up an old film clip of one of my early movies, and, uh, we thought itd be funny if we showed you that clip right now!
[David gapes at camera with a dopey look, and then CUT to a clip of Bullwinkle the moose doing a Mr. Know-It-All bit from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle show. Bullwinkle talks about How to Tame Lions for several seconds, and then CUT back to Joe in the studio.]
David Hartman: Awwww, I havent changed that much, have I? [GMA theme music rises] I thought I looked pretty darn good, I, uh, really did. Now, uh, I want you to get out there and uh, make it a safe, and you know, uh, go out there and make it a good day, a good day. Good morning, good morning.
Steve Bell: [on TV] Good morning, David!
David Hartman: [to TV] Good morning, Steve!
Steve Bell: Good morning!
David Hartman: Good morning!
[FADE to GMA logo as audience applauds.]
Submitted by: Joe Cornfield
