Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 8: Episode 6
82f: Robert Blake / Kenny Loggins
Talent Show
Trumpeter…..Clint Smith
MC….Tim Kazurinsky
Tyrone Green….Eddie Murphy
Trumpeter: Ole!
[Applause, stuttering MC gets on stage]MC: That was-that was great. That was our own Al Reubens playing “Flight of the Bumblebee”..
Trumpeter: Uh, that was the “Bullfighter” song.
MC: Uh, the “Bullfighter” song, yes. He plays it faster and faster every year. [Trumpeter exits] Ok now….what-what’s going on in back? [People turn around, and a “BOO!” is heard.] Will you kids in back knock it off? We’re-we’re-we’re throwing this whole benefit for you guys and so we’d appreciate a little cooperation, for Pete’s sake. All right, th-this next group should be popular with you young people, so let’s have a-a big hand for Tyrone Green and his reggae band.
[Applause. Tyrone enters, slouching, followed by two band members carrying instruments. The MC sticks his hand out, but Tyrone doesn’t touch it. He stands in front of the mic while one band member puts down the drums, and the other carries in a guitar. Tyrone adjusts the mic and his hair.]Tyrone Green: Hit it, fellas.
[Reggae beats begins, and Tyrone starts bopping to the beat in front of the mic. He sings.]“I live in a shelter in a, a shanty town
We have no money so we have to sleep on the ground
I play the music, my father he dig a ditch
My mother she do laundry, life sure was a bitch
But soon we kill de white people, oh
We gon’ make them hurt
Kill de white people, yeah
But buy my record first
Whoa, yeah
[MC tries to appease an angry VFW man, and heads on stage to stop the band.]Why don’t you buy my-”
[MC reaches the stage. Tyrone pauses in his song long enough to glare down the MC, who backs away. Tyrone goes back to bopping and singing.]“We sing of freedom and for equality
But we really don’t care, we just want money money money
We want to drive in a big black limousine
Get so high off ganja a-we can’t even see
But soon we kill de white people, oh
We gonna make them hurt
Kill de white people, yeah
whoa, but buy my record first”
“When they go to the record store
We gonna wait outside
We gonna hit ’em in de head wit’ a bat and make them cry
Soon we kill-“
MC: Uh, don’t leave yet, ’cause little Shirley Dickermine’s gonna tap dance next…[Angry VFWs swarm MC] No, uh, I, no, no I thought they were gonna do “Day-O.”
[Tyrone grabs the mic]Tyrone Green: “Kill de white people!”
MC: (still protesting) I thought they were gonna do “Day-O.”
Tyrone Green:
“Kill de white people
but buy my record first.”
Submitted by: Johanna Swanson
I’m looking for the script of the bit Tim Kazurinsky did on 11/13/1982 on Orgasms. It was his funniest ever. Thank you if you could publish it or send it to me.