SNL Transcripts: Robert Blake: 11/13/82: Talent Show


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 8: Episode 6

82f: Robert Blake / Kenny Loggins

Talent Show

Trumpeter…..Clint Smith
MC….Tim Kazurinsky
Tyrone Green….Eddie Murphy

[Opening shot is of a VFW Hall, with a sign that says “Annual Talent Show, Tonight 8:30”. A trumpet playing is heard. The scene changes to an interior shot of people sitting and listening to the suited trumpeter on stage. He finishes.]

Trumpeter: Ole!

[Applause, stuttering MC gets on stage]

MC: That was-that was great. That was our own Al Reubens playing “Flight of the Bumblebee”..

Trumpeter: Uh, that was the “Bullfighter” song.

MC: Uh, the “Bullfighter” song, yes. He plays it faster and faster every year. [Trumpeter exits] Ok now….what-what’s going on in back? [People turn around, and a “BOO!” is heard.] Will you kids in back knock it off? We’re-we’re-we’re throwing this whole benefit for you guys and so we’d appreciate a little cooperation, for Pete’s sake. All right, th-this next group should be popular with you young people, so let’s have a-a big hand for Tyrone Green and his reggae band.

[Applause. Tyrone enters, slouching, followed by two band members carrying instruments. The MC sticks his hand out, but Tyrone doesn’t touch it. He stands in front of the mic while one band member puts down the drums, and the other carries in a guitar. Tyrone adjusts the mic and his hair.]

Tyrone Green: Hit it, fellas.

[Reggae beats begins, and Tyrone starts bopping to the beat in front of the mic. He sings.]

“I live in a shelter in a, a shanty town
We have no money so we have to sleep on the ground
I play the music, my father he dig a ditch
My mother she do laundry, life sure was a bitch
But soon we kill de white people, oh

[Pan to VFW people in corner giving MC quizzical looks]

We gon’ make them hurt
Kill de white people, yeah

But buy my record first

Whoa, yeah

[MC tries to appease an angry VFW man, and heads on stage to stop the band.]

Why don’t you buy my-”

[MC reaches the stage. Tyrone pauses in his song long enough to glare down the MC, who backs away. Tyrone goes back to bopping and singing.]

“We sing of freedom and for equality
But we really don’t care, we just want money money money
We want to drive in a big black limousine
Get so high off ganja a-we can’t even see
But soon we kill de white people, oh

[People start leaving, and one of the VFWs on the sideline must be restrained by an older VFW and the MC.]

We gonna make them hurt
Kill de white people, yeah
whoa, but buy my record first”

[MC gets on stage again, gesturing as though Tyrone has run out of time. Another glare, more people leave, and clearly seen in the front row is the only other black person in the room, clapping to the beat.]

“When they go to the record store

We gonna wait outside
We gonna hit ’em in de head wit’ a bat and make them cry
Soon we kill-“

[MC desperately grabs the mic from Tyrone]

MC: Uh, don’t leave yet, ’cause little Shirley Dickermine’s gonna tap dance next…[Angry VFWs swarm MC] No, uh, I, no, no I thought they were gonna do “Day-O.”

[Tyrone grabs the mic]

Tyrone Green: “Kill de white people!”

MC: (still protesting) I thought they were gonna do “Day-O.”

[Angry VFWs leave.]

Tyrone Green:
“Kill de white people
but buy my record first.”

[Scene ends as we see the one other black guy stand up and clap along.]

Submitted by: Johanna Swanson

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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stew gegenheimer
stew gegenheimer
5 years ago

I’m looking for the script of the bit Tim Kazurinsky did on 11/13/1982 on Orgasms. It was his funniest ever. Thank you if you could publish it or send it to me.

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