Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 8: Episode 9
Kensington Dance Theatre For The Blind
Lead Dancer…..Eddie Murphy
[ open on Husband and Wife entering auditorium ]
Husband: I wish I knew what this recital was all about..
Wife: Forget about it. We subscribe, we know they’ve got something good.
Husband: Well, at least we made it, huh?
Wife: Yeah.[ they sit, as a ballet begins ]
Husband: [ disgusted ] Oh, God.. modern dance.
Wife: Sshh! It’s ballet![ the dancers perform very badly, seemingly blind ]
Husband: [ confused ] What the hell is this?! honey, let me see your program for a sec.. [ looks at program ] The Dance Theatre For The Blind??!!
Wife: Honey, please, come on..[ more awkwardly dancing takes place ]
Husband: Honey, thjis is crazy! We’ve either got to stop this or leave, come on!
Wife: [ enjoying herself ] I like it, it’s interesting! Maybe they’re deaf, too![ ballet dancer spins too rough, colliding into an unperturbed audience ]
Husband: [ outraged ] Alright, look! Could we hold it just a second, please? Stop! Stop the music! Could we have your attention! [ music stops ] Uh.. I know you here, the Kensington Dance Theatre For the Blind were kind enough to come here to perform for our community hall.. but we weren’t quite prepared for this. and I think we should just kind of call it a night and go home, okay? Thank you, it was a valient effort! Thank you.
Lead Dancer: [ steps forward ] What?!
Husband: I beg your pardon?
Lead Dancer: What’s the matter, you don’t like the dance?
Husband: No! You know what, I’m a real avid fan of all kinds of dance, but I think what you’re doing is kind of getting out of hand, I’m sure you understand.
Lead Dancer: No, I don’t uderstand, man. We’re a legitimate dance troupe, man, and we’ve been engaged to play your hall, so what’s the problem?
Husband: Well.. I don’t know exactly how to say this.. but, truthfully and honestly, the fact of the matter is.. you people are blind! I think it’s ridiculous – blind dancers. I’m sorry!
Lead Dancer: We ain’t blind!
Husband: Well, you’re the Kensington Dance Theatre For the Blind. Are you not?
Lead Dancer: That’s For the Blind. We’re a dance troupe that performs for blind people. We’re not blind! [ points to the audience ] These people are!
Husband: Oh. Oh..
Lead Dancer: Yeah. And these people enojy what we’re doing. Isn’t that right! [ blind audience cheers, waving their canes in the air ] So, why don’t you sit down and enjoy yourself, and let us finish dancing, okay?
Husband: I’m really very sorry.. I had no idea at all.. but I gotta tell you: you people are terrible!
Lead Dancer: Don’t spoil it for the others.[ the ballet continues, as Husband returns quietly to his seat ] [ fade to black ]