Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 8: Episode 19
Stevie Wonder Impersonator
Richie…..Eddie Murphy
Byrne…..Joe Piscopo
Alan…..Stevie Wonder
[FADE IN on Eddie Murphy as a show-biz agent sitting at a desk and talking on the telephone.]
Richie: Look, Im talking about more this year, Im talking about pride, all right? Im talking about the Miss Black Teenage America Contest. [pauses] Well, its gonna be a quality show, man, Don Cornelius is hosting! [pauses] Listen to who we got to be the judges: Ike Turner, Eartha Kitt, Willie Tyler and Lester… [pauses] You know, the dude with the puppet! [pauses] Look, all this show needs now is the incredible musical talents of Wilson Pickett, and- [pauses] What you mean, Wilson Pickett is busy? This is a quality job! [pauses] Well, at least tell the wicked Pickett to think about it, all right? [pauses] Do that for me, okay?
[knocking at the door]
Richie: All right. Someones at my door, I gotta call you back. [puts down phone] Uh, come in!
[Joe Piscopo enters, dressed in a suit and wearing a nerdy pair of dark-rimmed glasses. He talks in a nasal voice.]
Byrne: Richie, how are ya?
Richie: Good.
Byrne: The wife?
Richie: Good.
Byrne: Oh, good, good! Good to see ya. Hey, hey, guy robs a bank, right? Wants to go into hiding. He signs with the William Morris Agency–hes never heard from again! Its true! Its true!
Richie: Whod you get for me, Byrne?
Byrne: Who did I get for you? Did I get you Willie Tyler?
Richie: Yeah.
Byrne: Did I get you Lester?
Richie: Yeah.
Byrne: I got you a singer.
Richie: Who?
Byrne: Think biggest black singer alive.
Richie: You got Michael Jackson, man?
Byrne: No, no, no.
Richie: Marvin Gaye?
Byrne: Think blind.
Richie: You got Ray Charles?!
Byrne: Think braids.
Richie: STEVIE WONDER!!
Byrne: No, no, no!
Richie: You got me Stevie Wonder? Man, you really outdid yourself this time!
Byrne: No, no, no, I got you someone even better!
Richie: Better than Stevie Wonder?
Byrne: Mm-hm.
Richie: Who?
Byrne: [grinning] Alan, the Stevie Wonder Experience! Its wonderful! The kid tours the country in a show called Stevemania! Its a big hit with the college kids!
Richie: I dont want a Steve Wonder imitation.
Byrne: No, no, no, hes better than Stevie! I wanna introduce him to you. [calls through door] Alan!
Alan’s Voice: [offscreen] Yeah?
Byrne: Alan, come here. I want you meet Richie over here.
[Stevie Wonder walks in as Alan, with a portable keyboard in his hands. Byrne leads him over to Richie, and Richie and Alan shake hands.]
Byrne: Here we go, how you doin’, this is Alan right here. Alan, meet Ritchie, right here, your next employer.
Richie: [dubiously] How you doin’, man.
Alan: [with a huge grin and a nasal voice] Hello, Id just like to say, its gonna be a great pleasure appearing on a Miss Black Teenage America program.
Richie: This guy is a dork. He aint nothin like Stevie Wonder!
Byrne: No, no, no! Thats because hes here! But on stage, with the music, the lights, the whole kit and kaboodle, he becomes Stevie Wonder! Its true!
Richie: Im not interested.
Byrne: Its true!
Richie: Im not interested.
Alan: [to Joe] Listen, I get the feeling that he doesnt want me on his show. [grins widely]
Byrne: No, no, no. Alan, Alan, please, please, Alan, its a definite do-able! Make, make your magic, sing for the man! Sing for the man a little bit.
[Stevie Wonder plays a brief chord on the keyboard and grins.]
Alan: Heres one of my favorites. People say I sound just like Stevie, with one exception: you can understand every single word!
[Stevie starts playing the chords to Superstitious, then sings in a harsh, nasal voice. Joe bobs his head back and forth and smiles.]
Alan: Very supersitious, writings on the wall… VERY SUPERSTITIOUS!!! Letters start to fall…
Richie: Alan! It sucks, man.
Byrne: [sheepish] Its true, Alan, it does suck. Uh, do the good one.
[Stevie looks hurt and struggles to maintain his composure.]
Alan: Okay. Heres another one. [clears through loudly]
[In exactly the same manner, he starts bellowing out Living for the City. He sings the first entire verse out of rhythm while Joe again bobs his head back and forth and smiles.]
Richie: Thats the worst Stevie Wonder impression Ive ever seen in my life.
Alan: [grinning] Whats the matter with it?
[The crowd roars with laughter as Stevie grins at Eddie, who breaks down and laughs helplessly for several seconds along with the audience.]
Alan: I can funk! I can funk! I can funk…
Richie: Yeah, yeah, but this, whats youre doing is ridiculous. Its nothing like, I know Stevie Wonder, man, and hes like, you have to mellow out, you see, youre too tense. Loosen up. You have to see me do a Stevie Wonder impression…
[Eddie Murphy takes a pair of sunglasses out of his breast pocket. Crowd roars as Eddie puts them on.]
Richie: You gotta smile a lot, like this, you see, you gotta smile. [grins]
Alan: [grins with his mouth wide open] You mean like this?
Richie: No.
Alan: Like this?
Richie: Yeah, but you aint really got it yet. Then you gotta move your neck around. Stevie moves his neck around. Move your neck like somebodys chokin ya, like this. Like that, see.
[Stevie puts his hands gently around Eddies neck as Eddie moves it back and forth a la Stevie.]
Alan: [grinning] If you dont like my show, Im gonna choke you.
[Stevie moves his head back and forth stiffly.]
Alan: Is this how he does it, like this?
Richie: Kinda.
Alan: Like that?
Richie: You gotta loosen up, you gotta move you hands, like this. See? Listen to me. Watch this.
Alan: Okay.
Richie: [clapping and singing like Stevie Wonder] My Cherie Amour, lovely as a summer day…
Alan: [nasal-voiced] My Cherie Amour…
Richie: No, no, no, better, with more feeling.
Alan: Oh.
[Stevie grunts as he tries too hard to sing like Stevie]
Alan: [nasal-voiced] My Cherie Amour…
Richie: You dont even know the words!
Alan: Lovely as a summer day!
Richie: No, listen to me, listen, listen. [clapping and singing like Stevie Wonder] My Cherie Amour, distant as the Milky Way…
[The crowd roars, and then Stevie starts singing the song for real. He claps and sings the rest of the first verse beautifully, and the crowd claps along and roars even louder. Everyone smiles, and Joe pats Stevie on the shoulder. Finally, Eddie takes off his glasses and shakes his head.]
Richie: It still sucks, man.
Byrne: No, no, no! Richie, that was Stevie Wonder! I was standing here! He became Stevie Wonder! Look, Im not married to this guy! Ive got another fellow, you would swear he is Smokey Robinson!
Richie: Im not interested.
Byrne: Its true! Its true!
Stevie: I do a great Anita Bryant!
Byrne: No, no, no, no, no. John Davidson, big with the black audience!
Alan: [jumping up and down like a girl] Oh, I can do, I can do John Davidson!
[Zoom out to show entire studio.]
Submitted by: Joe Cornfield