Jerry Lewis’ French Translator
[ Jerry Lewis follows Mary into a room in the French movie studio ]
Mary: And theese.. theese is the place where every Jerry Louis movie is dubbed into the French language.
Jerry Lewis: No kidding! Right here, huh?
Mary: Oui! Theese is the room, help you become – how you Americans say – a superstar in France.
Jerry Lewis: Really! I like this room!
Mary: Ees very nice.
Jerry Lewis: It is.[ Jean-Pierre, the French Translator, enters ]
Mary: [ excited ] He’s here!
Jerry Lewis: Who’s here?
Mary: Jean-Pierre, the man who is the voice of Jerry Louis to millions of Frenchmen! Oh, I am so excited!
Jerry Lewis: [ stunned ] Oh.. him? He does all of my movies?
Mary: Yes! Every single one of them! He has devoted his life to being the voice of Jerry Louis!
Jerry Lewis: Well! I would like to meet him!
Mary: I’m sure he will be very excited! [ runs to him ] Jean-Pierre! [ brings him forward, acknowledging Jerry ] Jerry Louis![ Jean-Pierre faints ]
Jerry Lewis: No, no, no.. it’s okay.. [ picks Jean-Pierre up ] It’s me, yes..
Jean-Pierre: [ excited beyond his wildest dreams, starts kissing Jerry all over, praising him in French ] Jerry!
Jerry Lewis: What is he saying, Mary?
Mary: He says he loves you, you are a genius.
Jerry Lewis: Well, that’s very nice, I appreciate all that.. Would you ask him if he’d mind it if I watched him work?
Mary: [ in French, passes on Jerry’s request ]
Jean-Pierre: [ excited, kisses Jerry again ]
Mary: It would be an honor!
Jerry Lewis: Wonderful..
Mary: He’s doing a scene from “The King of Comedy”.
Jerry Lewis: [ apprehensive ] Oh.. well, now.. “The King of Comedy”, that’s a very, very complex role.. I mean, it’s very tense. It was a tremendous challenge for me, having to play it perfectly straight, of course. And, uh, this film takes a lot of risks – as a matter of fact, putting it into a foreign language is a risk. I’ll be interested.. [ Jean-Pierre has been kissing him admiringly ] Uh.. are you gonna be here again tomorrow? I’ll be interested to see how he does. Are they ready?
Mary: They certainly are! They’re ready to start!
Jerry Lewis: Good![ Jean-Pierre sets up his microphone in the center of the room, as the reel counts down on-screen ]
Mary: Theese is the scene that Jean-Pierre will be dubbing!
Jerry Lewis: [ watching ] That’s.. that’s a tough scene..
Jean-Pierre: [ addresses Jerry before starting ]
Mary: Ohh.. this is the happiest day of his life!
Jerry Lewis: Good..[ Jean-Pierre cues a replay of Jerry in the movie saying, “Yes, it is! I have a life, okay?” ]
Jean-Pierre: [ starts screaming impishly, confusing the serious drama with Jerry’s typical nutty comedies like “The Nutty Professor” and “The Patsy” ]
Jerry Lewis: [ waving his hands ] Wait.. wait.. hold it.. wait a minute.. cut it.. cut it..
Mary: It is incredible how he sounds exactly like you, eh?
Jerry Lewis: He sounds exactly like me?
Mary: Eet ees uncanny, no?
Jerry Lewis: NO! Listen, Jean-Pierre.. this is a tragedy! Do you understand? [ Jean-Pierre kisses Jerry’s hands ] Will you stop with the kissing, and listen to me?
Mary: He does not speak English!
Jerry Lewis: Oh.. he doesn’t speak.. he doesn’t speak English! Then, how does he.. I mean.. look! Will you tell him this is tragic and dramatic!
Mary: [ translating to Jean-Pierre ]
Jean-Pierre: [ surprised ] Oh! Oui! Tragedie! [ laughs ] [ next scene replays, Jerry’s character yelling, “I told you I’d call to get rid of you!” ]
Jean-Pierre: [ translates wildly – “Allo? Allo? Au revoir!” ]
Jerry Lewis: No, this is insane![ movie clip plays Jerry’s character shouting, “That’s right!” ]
Jerry Lewis: No.. [ yells at the control booth ] Hold it! Cut it! Hold it and cut it, or cut it and hold it! Mary? Mary, this is a very, very serious film. It’s an important statement. A comment about American society! And he’s reading it like an idiot!
Mary: [ panicking, she informs Jean-Pierre in French that he’s translating the movie improperly ]
Jean-Pierre: [ ashamed of himself, pulls up his scarf and tries to choke himself to death ]
Jerry Lewis: [ worried by Jean-Pierre’s sudden action ] What is he saying, Mary? What is he saying?!
Mary: He’s ashamed, he wants to die!
Jerry Lewis: [ grabbing Jean-Pierre ] No, no, no, no, no!! Tell him to.. tell him to let go of the scarf!
Mary: Let go of the scarf![ Jean-Pierre won’t budge ]
Jerry Lewis: [ giving in ] Tell him I was joking.. tell him he did it perfect!
Mary: [ translating ] Perfecte!
Jean-Pierre: [ releases his grip on his scarf, turns to Jerry, smiles, then kisses him some more ]
Mary: He says, “I love this man! I love this man!”[ next scene plays, DeNiro’s character shouts, “Alright, I made a mistake!” followed by Jerry’s character yelling, “So did Hitler!” ] [ near-mimicking Jerry’s flop “Which Way To The Front?”, Jean-Pierre jumps around yelling “Hitler!” as Jerry and Mary exit the studio ] [ screen shrinks, then reappears with the front page of Variety, big, bold headlines reading “King Of Comedy – Zany Box Office Smash In France” ] [ fade to black ]