Linda Ronstadt

Linda Ronstadt

Linda Ronstadt…..Julia Louis-Dreyfus

[FADE IN on Julia-Louis Dreyfus dressed and posing like Linda Ronstadt. The words, “What’s New–Nelson Riddle and His Orchestra” frame the shot, exactly like Ronstadt’s album of the same name. The background music to the title track plays, and Julia begins to sing live.]

Linda Ronstadt: [singing]“What’s new?
How is the world treating you?
I made the big bucks fast,
Since I have learned to rip off the past.

“What’s new?
In four years, I’ll be 42,
And music’s just a game,
A silly riddle, Nelson’s his name.

[Julia sits up]

Linda Ronstadt: [singing]“What’s old?
Records I make turn to gold,
And though the income’s grand,
The songs I sing, I don’t understand,
Thank God for the band.

“What’s next?
This old backup singer’s perplexed.
[coyly] I sing old songs for you,
‘Cause I can’t do what’s new!”

[ZOOM back to show Julia leaning back and posing as before, and then the same album frame appears around the shot.]

Thanks to Joe Cornfield for this transcript!

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