February 25th, 1984
St. Patrick’s Day Wrap-UpSummary: A confused Siobhan Cahill (Mary Gross) reports from a Purim celebration instead of the St. Patrick’s Day celebration she’d intended.
Recurring Characters: Siobhan Cahill, Father Timothy Owens.
Bill Crystal’s MonologueSummary: Billy Crystal performs stand-up about dating as a teenager.
Hung Like MeRecurring Characters: Pee Wee Herman.
Winston UniversitySummary: The recruiter (Billy Crystal) for Winston University lets a high school class in on a secret, but, if they tell anyone about it, he will track them down and kill them.
Family in the AtticSummary: A Swiss couple (Tim Kazurinsky, Robin Duke) suddenly remember that they never set a group of WWII refugees free after the war ended.
Note: This sketch was pre-filmed to accomodate Eddie Murphy’s movie schedule.
Sammy & ronald ReaganSummary: President Ronald Reagan (Joe Piscopo) asks Sammy Davis, Jr. (Billy Crystal) to publicly hug his opponents as a measure to guarantee his re-election.
Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Sammy Davis, Jr.
Unanswered Questions of the UniverseRecurring Characters: Havnagootiim Vishnuuerheer.
Bad Career MovesSummary: Fred Kaz (Jim Belushi) interviews Hervé Villechaize (Billy Crystal), who recently quit “Fantasy Island” in pursuit of more money.
Saturday Night NewsSummary: Recurring Characters: Fernando.
Al Jarreau performs “Mornin'”
God’s PlaceRecurring Characters: John F. Kennedy, Babe Ruth, Charlie Chaplin.
Al Jarreau performs “Trouble in Paradise”
Billy Crystal’s SNL StorySummary: Billy Crystal tells the audience about his stand-up performance that was cut from the very first of episode of “Saturday Night Live”, but time runs out once more before he can perform it.