Jingle: “Hey, Tippi Turtle, coming down the street
Tell us what you’re gonna do!”
Tippi Turtle: “First, I’m gonna bother everybody I meet
Then, I’ll probably go home and get drunk.”
Jingle: Hey, Tippi Turtle!
Hey, hey, Tippi Turtle!”
Tippi Turtle: Hi, everybody! Well, enough small talk – we’ve got people to annoy! Today, we’re gonna bother these guys – the hammerheads at the U.S. Post Office. Hee hee hee! Now, pay attention.
Get some real thin balsa wood, and glue it together like this. See? You make a little box! Then, you take a helium balloon and you put it inside like this. Then, wrap it up and address it! Take it downtown.[ show Tippi Turtle standing in line at the Post Office ]
Hee hee hee! This is gonna be great! [ jumps excitedly ]
Postal Employee: Next.
Tippi Turtle: Yes. Good afternoon, Mr. United States Post Office Man. Now, you charge according to weight, is that correct?
Postal Employee: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just put it on the scale.
Tippi Turtle: Okee-dokee! [ places his box on the scale, but it floats upward ] Looks like you owe me some money, hammerhead!
Postal Employee: [ grabs box from midair, places it down again ] I don’t know.. [ box floats away again ]
Tippi Turtle: [ bangs counter ] Are you gonna pay up, or not? Iwant my money! Fair is fair! [ leans close to the camera to whisper to the audience ] Be real obnoxious. Keep demanding money. Bother as many people as you can! [ leans back into the cartoon ] I want my money! Fair is fair!
Tippi Turtle: Hee hee hee! Now, that’s entertainment!Goodbye, everybody! See you next time!
Jingle: “Hey, Tippi Turtle!”[ fade to black ]