60 Minutes
Mike Wallace…..Harry Shearer
Herb Minkman…..Christopher Guest
Al Minkman…..Billy Crystal
Nathan Thurm…..Martin Short
[ open on Mike Wallace sitting in front of chromascreen reading “Laughter May Be Hazardous To Your Health” ]
Mike Wallace: I’m Mike Wallace. The novelty shop, or joke store, may seem like the home of innocent fun. But according to the Consumer Product Safety Commissioner, it may more often be the cause of serious, even permanent, injury. Defective novelties are showing up on American shelves in ever-increasing numbers. But not only does that worry federal regulators, it has two American businessmen fighting for their lives. Almost literally.
[ cut to Mike Wallace interviewing Herb and Al Minkman in their offices ]
Herb Minkman: Today, if you go to a party, and you see, you know, a whoopie cushion, or a plastic lost lunch, or the..
Al Minkman: Phony doggie doodie.
Herb Minkman: Yeah. And, if it doesn’t look good, it’s probably not a Minkman. And that makes us look bad.
Mike Wallace Voiceover: Herb and Al Minkman are third generation jokemakers. They grew up in a world of dribble glasses and Chinese finger prisons. But they’re growing old in a very different world – one overrun by pirate novelties.
Herb Minkman: [ holds Chinese finger prison ] This is a cheap imitation of a Minkman Chinese finger prison. Try it.
Mike Wallace: Alright. [ tries it, but his fingers come right out ] Nothing happened.
Al Minkman: Of course nothing happened! What should happen: you put your individual fingers in there, and then the circulation would be cut off..
Herb Minkman: Temporarily.
Al Minkman: Temporarily. And then, panic would ensue, and everybody would have a good laugh. But if your fingers aren’t trapped, then the joke is not on you.
Herb Minkman: By the way, Mike, I think you spilled your coffee. [ points to turned-over coffee cup ]
Mike Wallace: [ eyes grow wide with embarrassment ] Oh.. I’m sorry..
Herb Minkman: It’s only a joke. And you believed it, because it’s a Minkman product.
Mike Wallace: Alright, that’s very.. believeable.. spilled coffee.. But, why should anyone watching care whether their $5.95 dribble glass is the best in the world.
Herb Minkman: Because if you buy an inferior non-Minkman dribble glass, and you put it to your lips, and, because of uneven glazing, suddenly find yourself on the way to the emergency room, with 15 stitches, this does no longer amaze and delight your friends. This is a lawsuit.
[ cut to skyline of Hong Kong ]
Mike Wallace Voiceover: But where do all the inferior squirt pens and plastic vomit flow from? We flew to Hong Kong on a hunch, and here’s what we found.
[ cut to Mike Wallace standing outside a door ]
Mike Wallace: It looks like any other office. Until you open the door. [ enters ] In reality, it’s a very special kind of sweatshop, where three shifts a day are hard at work manufacturing counterfeit articles of amusement. [ pan across the table where the counterfeiters work ] Acccording to the Hong Kong City Clerk’s office, this factory is owned, through a complex web of companies, by a Mr. Ping E. Lee.
[ flash shots of Mr. Lee ]
Mike Wallace Voiceover: But despite repeated attempts to contact Mr. Lee over a 12-hour period, we coiuld get no response. But we were able to reach his attorney, Mr. Nathan Thurm.
[ close-up of nervous Nathan Thurm smoking from a cigarette as Mike Wallacer interrogates him ]
Mike Wallace: Mr. Thurm, let’s be honest. We’ve seen the people working for pennies, making defective novelty items, which, at best, don’t work, and don’t provide hours of family fun; at worst, creating serious injuries.
Nathan Thurm: [ pause ] So, what are you saying?
Mike Wallace: I’m saying that your boss, Mr. Lee, is, in effect, the Mr. Big of the pirate novelty business.
Nathan Thurm: No, he isn’t! You’re just saying that to get higher ratings on your TV show!
Mike Wallace: No, I wish I were, but.. we saw your people making pirate Mickman schnozzes.
Nathan Thurm: [ shakes head ] I don’t know what you’re talking about. [ smiles ] It’s funnythat you would say that! They don’t make schnozzes. They make semiconductors for a very reputable computer company. What’s wrong with that? Is there something wrong with that? Why, why, why is that something wrong to do? I don’t understnad that. Why are you pointing the finger at other people all the time? Why don’t you point the finger at yourself? Do a little more reading, maybe? Some time in court – maybe that would be effective for you!
Mike Wallace: Pardon me for saying this, but you seem defensive.
Nathan Thurm: I’m not being defensive! You’re the one who’sbeing defensive! Why is always the other person who’s being defensive?Have you ever asked yourself that? Why don’t you ask yourselfthat?
Mike Wallace: [ holds out paper ] This is an affadavit..
Nathan Thurm: I know that!
Mike Wallace: Well, let me finish. This is an affidavit from awoman who has severe nerve damage, on her upper thigh, from sitting onone of your defective whoopie cushions. Here, read it.
Nathan Thurm: You read it!
Mike Wallace: Well, I have read it.
Nathan Thurm: So, why do I have to read it?
Mike Wallace: Well, it does pertain to your company.
Nathan Thurm: I know that! Why wouldn’t I know that? It’s mycompany, I’m quite aware of that! [ looks at the camera ] Is it me? It’s him, right?
[ cut to Mike Wallace and the Minkmans walking through their joke factory ]
Herb Minkman: They can turn out an inferior product for pennies,because they don’t use the money that they make to put back into researchand development.
Al Minkman: We never ship a product that is not 100% fully tested.That’s why our father founded the Minkamn Joke Research Lab.
Herb Minkman: The American Oil Industry has a quote system. We don’tsee why it wouldn’t be psosible to have a similar kind of protection for theAmerican novelty industry.
Al Minkman: Mm-hmm.. See, Mike, once again, America is losing out onsomething it created. The Chinese did not invent this stuff. Highly-craftedartificial vomit is as American as the.. hot dog.
[ cut to Mike Wallace interviewing Herb and Al Minkman in their offices once again ]
Al Minkman: By the way, Mike, did you let a St. Bernard come in here?
Mike Wallace: No, Sir, I didn’t.
Herb Minkman: [ pointing ] Because there’s a big brown, seepingpresent underneath your chair! [ Mike Wallace jumps up as they laugh at him ]It’s a Minkman, Mike!
Mike Wallace: That’s good. That’s very, very good, fellas..
[ Herb and Al give each other an acknowledging glance ]
[ cut to “60 Minutes” stopwatch ]
[ fade out ]
Good day! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after going through many of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m definitely happy I came across it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back frequently!
This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for the useful information.
Your insights are very valuable.
Hey would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a hard time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site 🙂
What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It positively helpful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to contribute & help other users like its aided me. Good job.
It’s refreshing to find great content such as this. Continue the good work.
I completely agree with your points. Well said!
Thank you for another fantastic article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such a perfect way of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m on the look for such info.
Great read! I appreciate the effort you put into researching this.
I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.
Sweet internet site, super pattern, real clean and utilize friendly.
I really like your writing style, great info , thanks for posting : D.
I just left a page similar to this one, but the information wasn’t as interesting as what’s here.
This is a really cool page. One of the best posts I’ve come across in quite a while. I hope to see more content like this.
Howdy! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Terrific blog and amazing design and style.
Thank you, I have just been searching for info approximately this subject for a while and yours is the best I’ve found out till now. However, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?
That is the fitting blog for anyone who desires to seek out out about this topic. You understand a lot its almost arduous to argue with you (not that I really would need…HaHa). You positively put a brand new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Nice stuff, simply great!
I’m not sure why but this web site is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.
I would also love to add when you do not surely have an insurance policy or perhaps you do not participate in any group insurance, chances are you’ll well benefit from seeking aid from a health insurance agent. Self-employed or people with medical conditions ordinarily seek the help of one health insurance specialist. Thanks for your article.
I am continuously invstigating online for tips that can benefit me. Thank you!
Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is great, as well as the content!
I am continuously searching online for articles that can help me. Thank you!
I simply wished to thank you very much once more. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have gone through in the absence of the type of information discussed by you about such industry. It had been a very horrifying problem in my view, nevertheless noticing the very professional avenue you handled the issue took me to weep over joy. I will be grateful for the service and thus hope that you comprehend what a powerful job you were accomplishing educating the others through a web site. Most likely you haven’t come across any of us.
What i don’t realize is actually how you are not really much more well-liked than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus significantly relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs nice. Always maintain it up!
This is a great post. It’s very informative and well written. I’ll come back from time to time for more posts like this one.
I just left a page similar to this one, but the information wasn’t as engaging as what’s here.
This is a pretty cool page. One of the best posts I’ve come across in quite a while. I hope to see more content like this.
Buy Cheapest USA Elite Private Proxies – Just On DreamProxies.com – Best Proxy Rates!
I just left a page similar to this one, but the content wasn’t as engaging as what’s here.
DreamProxies.com – Best Private Proxies For Cheapest Prices Actually!
Airport Transfers Bahamas operates a luxury fleet, prioritizing client comfort and safety. Our vehicles are the epitome of elegance, offering a secure and stylish travel experience.
Great content! Super high-quality! Keep it up!
I have witnessed that smart real estate agents everywhere are getting set to FSBO Promotion. They are noticing that it’s more than just placing a sign in the front area. It’s really concerning building interactions with these retailers who at some point will become buyers. So, if you give your time and energy to helping these retailers go it alone – the “Law regarding Reciprocity” kicks in. Interesting blog post.
아름다운스웨디시업소
hey there and thank you to your info – I’ve certainly picked up anything new from right here. I did alternatively experience several technical issues the use of this site, as I experienced to reload the web site a lot of occasions prior to I could get it to load properly. I were brooding about if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading circumstances occasions will very frequently affect your placement in google and could damage your high quality ranking if ads and ***********|advertising|advertising|advertising and *********** with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for much more of your respective intriguing content. Ensure that you update this once more soon..
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I assumed this put up was once great. I don’t realize who you’re but definitely you are going to a famous blogger should you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!
Hey very cool site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also…I am happy to find so many useful information here in the post, we need work out more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
Travel smart with our reliable Houston to Galveston shuttle and Galveston to Houston shuttle services, designed to meet all your travel requirements.