Wing Tips

Wing Tips

Clerk…..Rich Hall
Manager…..Jim Belushi

[ open on Clerk sweeping the floor by the electronic doors of the store ]

Manager: Virgil! I’m going home for lunch! I want this entire floor spotless by the time I get back! I don’t want you to leave until it’s finished. Do you understand me?

Clerk: Yes, sir. [ Manager starts to walk away ] Will there be overtime, Mr. Hurvitz?

Manager: Overtime? Do I look like Mr. Moneybags to you?

Clerk: No, sir.

Manager: DO I?!

Clerk: No, sir.

Manager: [ angry ] I want this floor spotless. [ exits store ] [ Clerk picks up electronic mat by the door so he can sweep under it. A female customer walks by and crashes into the doors ]

Clerk: I’m really sorry.

[ curious, the Clerk steps on the electronic mat, which sits in front of a snack machine. The door to the snack machine opens, spilling its contents. The clerk’s wheels start spinning, as he cuts the electronic mat into the shape of the soles of his shoes and glues them on. ] [ Music Over: “The Street Only Knew Your Name” by Van Morrison” ] [ Clerk practices his new shoes in the frozen food section, where threee freezer doors open ] [ Clerk exits the store, opening the front electronic doors with his shoes ] [ Clerk walks past a mailbox, which spills letters and envelopes ] [ Clerk walks past car, whose doors, trunk and hood all pop open ] [ Clerk walks past pallbearers carrying a casket. He offers one of the pallbearers a light, as the casket slowly creaks open, startling the pallbearers. ] [ Clerk enters the hall of his Manager’s apartment building, rings the bell and drops a shoebox containing the electronic shoes at the foot of the door as he quickly disappears ] [ Manager opens his door to discover the shoebox, grabs it and returns inside ] [ dissolve to a few minutes later, as the Manager exits his apartment wearing his new shoes. Every time he closes his door, it quickly swings open, until he gets so aggravated he just leaves it open. ] [ As Manager walks away, his briefcase opens and spills papers to the hallway floor. The Manager scoops up all the papers, but the briefcase refuses to close. Aggravated, the Manager hurls the briefcase into the stairwell as the door opens al by itself. ] [ Continuing down the hall, the Manager doesn’t think twice about the elevator doors opening before he presses the button, so he walks right into the open shaft ]

Manager: Aaaaaagggggghhhhhhh!!!!

[ camera angle shows the empty elevator shaft, as the doors close behind the fallen body ] [ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts