Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood


Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood

Mr. Robinson…..Eddie Murphy


[ Mr. Robinson enters his apartment dressed as Santa Claus ]

Mr. Robinson: [ singing ]“It’s a beautiful day in the neigborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Hello, boys and girls! You know, Christmas is a special time in Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood. It’s a time for giving, and look what Mr. Landlord gave me – it’s an eviction notice. Well, that’s why Mr. Robinson has to wear this Santa Claus suit to sneak in and out of his building. But it just isn’t a disguise, boys and girls. Because, when I add this little pail here, and when I have this little bell, it becomes a small business. [ rings the bell ] Yes, Christmas is a season for giving, and for taking! And with this little operation, I figure I’ll be taking on about $300-400 a day! Oh, why oh why, must Christmas come but once a year?

[ puts his stuff away ]

You know, another reason why Mr. Robinson likes Christmas so much, boys and girls, is because I have so much in common with Santa Claus. We both like to sneak into your house late at night. Only Mr. Santa Claus likes to leave things. Mr. Robinson prefers to take a few things every now and then. Let’s see what I have for Christmas today. [ reaches into his sack ] Oh, look.. a little doll baby! Isn’t it so cute, boys and girls? It’s not worth a lot right now, but, through the miracles of modern science.. [ pulls off the head, and replaces it with a cabbage ] ..Cabbage Patch doll! Now they’re worth a lot of cabbage! I could sell these to little stupid kids for about $50 each! $50 each! Can you believe that! That’s why I love Christmas! And that’s today’s word, boys and girls. [ walks over to the word board, which has “X-MAS” written on it ] “Christ-mas”. You know any other words that start with “X”, boys and girls? How about.. [ flips card over to show word “X-CON” ] ..Ex-con”? [ a knock is heard at the door ] Who could that be, boys and girls?

Voice At Door: Robinson! Are you the guy that sold my kid a head of lettuce with a dress on it?!

Mr. Robinson: That reminds me of another word, boys and girls, that begins with “X” – “Ex-scape”! [ grabs his bag ] Well, I’ll see you later. And remember: “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I’ll visit you tomorrow when you’re sound asleep..” [ jumps out window ] Goodbye, boys and girls!

[ title fades in, then out to black ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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