Pamela Sue Martin’s Monologue


Pamela Sue Martin’s Monologue

…..Pamela Sue Martin
Joan Collins…..Jim Belushi

Pamela Sue Martin: Thank you! It’s great to be here. As you probably know, I left “Dynasty” about a year ago. But people still ask me two questons about the show. First, they want to know: Why did you leave “Dynasty”? The fame, the money, Jeff, the clothes.. Let me try and explain. First, you have to understand – I’m an actress. I needed other creative outlets, other ways to express myself. You see, I could do more than just fill the space between the commercials. I could do the commercials. Kojak is bald and he’s selling Fords. I mean.. “Who loves you, baby?” No one! They love the Carringtons! Right!

Which brings me to the second question. People always want to know: Is Joan Collins really that beautiful? So.. I brought along a couple of candid snapshots of Joan, I took them of Joan as she was getting into make-up at “Dynasty”. Can a camera get these? [ leafs through the pictures] Um.. oh, boy, this is really candid.. [ looks ] I suppose she’d kill me if I showed that one.. [ continues looking ] Uh.. I just can’t! I mean, this is not fair, I.. Okay, wait a second. I’ll tell you what? Why don’t I just let you see for yourselves how truly beautiful Joan is in person, because she’s here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend and colleague, Joan Collins!

[ Jim Belushi, dressed as Joan Collins, stands up from the front row of the audience ]

Pamela Sue Martin: You thought she was taller, right? Be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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