Where You’re Going


Where You’re Going

Yuppie #1…..Randy Quaid

[ A group of yuppies sit around a table in a fancy restaurant, drinking ]

Yuppie #1: I gotta make a toast. Here’s to a guy who just sold his condo for five times what he paid for it!

[ rapid-fire scenes of yuppies living it up amongst the less-privileged, driving a Ferrari, pushing people aside in the streets, etc. ]

You want more than the rest
You just won’t take second best
You’ve never been number two
And you’re gonna get the things the world owes you.

Where you’re going, you’ve always known it
Where you’re going, you’re on your way.

[ Champagne glass reads “Where you’re going” ]

Where you’re going..

[ Champagne glass now reads “HELL” – all the yuppies are howling andscreaming in Hell ]

Announcer: Yes, you’re going to Hell. For the life of false values, empty ambitions and raw greed, you’ve earned the agony of eternal torment. You’re going to burn, no doubt about it.

[ SUPER: “A message from Almighty God.” ]

Thanks to Tony DuMontfor this transcript.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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