Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 11: Episode 2
Fire Chief…..Chevy Chase
Fireman #1…..Damon Wayans
Fireman #2…..Don Novello
Fireman #3…..Terry Sweeney
Fireman #4…..Anthony Michael Hall
Fireman #5…..Jon Lovitz
Fireman #6…..Robert Downey Jr.
Fireman #7…..Randy Quaid
FADE IN:[ STOCK FOOTAGE OF FIRE FIGHTERS RUSHING TO THEIR ENGINES AND THE BLAZINGINFERNO ON SCENE. ] [ INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT ] [ A FIRE CHIEF and his crew arrive. The area is covered in smoke. ]
Fire Chief: Okay men — we gotta check every compartment in here! Checkevery door! We gotta make sure nobody’s in here! Okay!?[ The fire fighters scramble to check the hallway. The fire chief pointsto all sorts of doorways while his team goes into every one. ]
Fire Chief: You — check that door!
Fire Chief: You — check that one! Go ahead! You check that door, too![ The fire chief points to another door to two of his men. ]
Fire Chief: You two — check those doors! Every door here — check it!![ The fire chief points to another door. ]
Fire Chief: You check that door! Come on, check it! Let’s go, let’s go!!
Fireman #1: What about this door?
Fire Chief: Check it!
Fireman #2: What about this door?
Fire Chief: Check it! You better check it! I wanna make sure you check it![ The fire chief points out a previous door. ]
Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Well, check it again!
Fireman #3: What are we going to do!?
Fire Chief: Check it again and make sure you check it![ The fire chief points two different firemen and a door behind them. ]
Fire Chief: You both check that door? You two — make sure you check it! Check it!![ A different fireman goes in the door the fire chief gave orders for theprevious two to enter. ]
Fire Chief: Get outta of there!! Check down there! Come on, let go! Check them all!!
Fireman: I’ll check it![ The fire chief and his crew leave the hallway. ]
Fire Chief: All right — let’s check ’em![ INT. ANOTHER HALLWAY – NIGHT ] [ Smoke fills the passageway and the crew keeps bumping into each other.They all scramble to check the doors. The fire chief’s the last show up. ]
Fire Chief: Check that door! Check it! It’s weird! Check it again![ The fire chief points out a door to a fireman. ]
Fire Chief: Come on, check it! What do you think you get a check for!?!? I’m not checking![ A fireman approaches the fire chief. ]
Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Check it again!
Fireman #4: Chief! You want me to check that door!?
Fire Chief: Double-check it! I don’t care! Okay!?[ The fire chief points to a door on his left to another fireman. ]
Fire Chief: Check that door![ The fire chief calls for Fireman #4 and points to the door he asked forto be checked. Fireman #4 races to the fire chief. ]
Fire Chief: Come here! Come here! Come here! You check that!?
Fireman #4: This one!?
Fire Chief: Make sure its checked![ The fire chief starts to get light-headed and losing his footing. ]
Fireman #5: Chief!
Fire Chief: What!? What do you want!? Your check!?!? It’s too early! Check in the morning![ The fire chief’s getting more unbalanced. ]
Fire Chief: Check! I want you to check! Check![ The fire chief faints. The crew circles around him. ]
Fireman #5: Check his pulse!
Fireman #6: The “checks” were too much for him!
Fireman #7: There’s one thing we’re not sure about — we think we checkedbut then we’re not! Probably though… What should we do?[ The fire chief starts to regain consciousness and sits up. ]
Fireman #7: Wait — I think he’s trying to say something!
Fire Chief: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”
Submitted by: Cody Downs