SNL Transcripts: Chevy Chase: 11/16/85: Smoky Hallways



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 11: Episode 2


85b: Chevy Chase / Sheila E.

Smoky Hallways

Fire Chief…..Chevy Chase
Fireman #1…..Damon Wayans
Fireman #2…..Don Novello
Fireman #3…..Terry Sweeney
Fireman #4…..Anthony Michael Hall
Fireman #5…..Jon Lovitz
Fireman #6…..Robert Downey Jr.
Fireman #7…..Randy Quaid
Fireman…..Dan Vitale

FADE IN:

[ STOCK FOOTAGE OF FIRE FIGHTERS RUSHING TO THEIR ENGINES AND THE BLAZINGINFERNO ON SCENE. ] [ INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT ] [ A FIRE CHIEF and his crew arrive. The area is covered in smoke. ]

Fire Chief: Okay men — we gotta check every compartment in here! Checkevery door! We gotta make sure nobody’s in here! Okay!?

[ The fire fighters scramble to check the hallway. The fire chief pointsto all sorts of doorways while his team goes into every one. ]

Fire Chief: You — check that door!

[ The fire chief points to another door. ]

Fire Chief: You — check that one! Go ahead! You check that door, too!

[ The fire chief points to another door to two of his men. ]

Fire Chief: You two — check those doors! Every door here — check it!!

[ The fire chief points to another door. ]

Fire Chief: You check that door! Come on, check it! Let’s go, let’s go!!

Fireman #1: What about this door?

Fire Chief: Check it!

Fireman #2: What about this door?

Fire Chief: Check it! You better check it! I wanna make sure you check it!

[ The fire chief points out a previous door. ]

Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Well, check it again!

Fireman #3: What are we going to do!?

Fire Chief: Check it again and make sure you check it!

[ The fire chief points two different firemen and a door behind them. ]

Fire Chief: You both check that door? You two — make sure you check it! Check it!!

[ A different fireman goes in the door the fire chief gave orders for theprevious two to enter. ]

Fire Chief: Get outta of there!! Check down there! Come on, let go! Check them all!!

Fireman: I’ll check it!

[ The fire chief and his crew leave the hallway. ]

Fire Chief: All right — let’s check ’em!

[ INT. ANOTHER HALLWAY – NIGHT ] [ Smoke fills the passageway and the crew keeps bumping into each other.They all scramble to check the doors. The fire chief’s the last show up. ]

Fire Chief: Check that door! Check it! It’s weird! Check it again!

[ The fire chief points out a door to a fireman. ]

Fire Chief: Come on, check it! What do you think you get a check for!?!? I’m not checking!

[ A fireman approaches the fire chief. ]

Fire Chief: Did you check that door!? Check it again!

[ FIREMAN #4 rushes to the fire chief. ]

Fireman #4: Chief! You want me to check that door!?

Fire Chief: Double-check it! I don’t care! Okay!?

[ The fire chief points to a door on his left to another fireman. ]

Fire Chief: Check that door!

[ The fire chief calls for Fireman #4 and points to the door he asked forto be checked. Fireman #4 races to the fire chief. ]

Fire Chief: Come here! Come here! Come here! You check that!?

Fireman #4: This one!?

Fire Chief: Make sure its checked!

[ The fire chief starts to get light-headed and losing his footing. ]

Fireman #5: Chief!

Fire Chief: What!? What do you want!? Your check!?!? It’s too early! Check in the morning!

[ The fire chief’s getting more unbalanced. ]

Fire Chief: Check! I want you to check! Check!

[ The fire chief faints. The crew circles around him. ]

Fireman #5: Check his pulse!

Fireman #6: The “checks” were too much for him!

Fireman #7: There’s one thing we’re not sure about — we think we checkedbut then we’re not! Probably though… What should we do?

[ The fire chief starts to regain consciousness and sits up. ]

Fireman #7: Wait — I think he’s trying to say something!

Fire Chief: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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