Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 11: Episode 3
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
November 23rd, 1985
Pee Wee Herman
Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band
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Pee Wee’s Tightrope WalkSummary: Pee Wee Herman’s tightrope walk between the Twin Towers results in his falling through the air.
Transcript
Montage
Pee Wee Herman’s MonologueSummary: Pee Wee Herman wear various funny shoes, assigns secret names to the audience, and dances to “Tequila.”
Army: Say NoSummary: While a teenager (Anthony Michael Hall) succums to peer pressure from his friends to smoke and drink, he draws the line when they all decide to join the Army.
Transcript
Locker RoomSummary: Feeling a void in his marriage, (Randy Quaid) considers going to a hooker. But his buddy, Pee Wee Herman, isn’t sure what he’s talking about.
Pee Wee Herman’s Thanksgiving SpecialSummary: Pee Wee Herman hosts an all-star Thanksgiving special.
Recurring Characters: Brooke Shields, Diana Ross, Daryl Hall, John Oates.
Note: Phil Hartman, who played Cap’n Carl in Pee Wee Herman’s various specials, not only co-wrote this sketch but also appears as an extra in the background. He would join “SNL” for a lengthy run the following season.
Note: Former Ebersol-era cast member Robin Duke is visible in the audience during the Diana Ross performance.
The Pat Stevens ShowSummary: Pat Stevens (Nora Dunn) blithely interviews a depression expert (Randy Quaid).
Recurring Characters: Pat Stevens.
Die Foreigner Die!Summary: A promo for a new action movie starring Sylverster Stallone, Chuck Norris and a lot of dead foreignors!
The Pathological LiarSummary: Pathological liar Tommy Flanagan (Jon Lovitz) shares a jail cell with Pee Wee Herman, and the two swap tall tales.
Recurring Characters: Tommy Flanagan.
Transcript
Weekend Update with Dennis MillerSummary: After a falling out with the Vatican, ex-reporter Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) has started his own church and declares himself Pope Maurice.
Recurring Characters: Father Guido Sarducci.
Dinosaur TownSummary: Alarmed that the owners of Dinosaur Town have gone bankrupt, Pee Wee Herman starts a campaign to find a mouse in a Coke bottle so they can use the settlement money to re-open the theme park.
Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs “La Louisiane”
Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band performs “Frisco Zydeco”
Miss PattersonSummary: Student Pee Wee Herman declares his love for teacher Miss Patterson (Joan Cusack), and, after much convincing, she finally reciprocates his emotions.
A Message From Cabrini GreenRecurring Characters: Cabrini Green.
Hal Fisher’s Money Magnet MethodSummary: Hal Fisher (Randy Quaid) explains how to make money in real estate by taking advantage of motivated sellers.
GoodnightsTranscript
Phil Hartman is not in Pee Wee thanksgiving , but Robin Duke is there (which is really REALLY strange for former cast member to play silent extra in background)