SNL Transcripts: Pee Wee Herman: 11/23/85: Say No To The Army

Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Season 11: Episode 3

85c: Pee Wee Herman / Queen Ida & The Bon Temps Zydeco Band

Say No To The Army

Teenager…..Anthony Michael Hall
Friends…..Robert Downey, Jr., Bruce McCulloch

[ open on a group of teenagers driving down the street, most of them drinking, as the last Teenager gives in to the peer pressure ]

Announcer: Sometimes, it’s hard to say no.

[ the Teenager is offered a cigarette, he once again gives in to peer pressure ]

Your friends can pressure you.

[ group of girls walk up to the guys ]

You want to be cool.

You want to be one of the guys.

[ Teeanger’s friends lead him into a building ] [ Army Recruiter looks at the group of teenagers and smiles, then looks to the other Teeanger ]

But.. when the time comes.. it’s really up to you.

Teeanger: [ panicks and runs ] NOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOOO!! NOOOO!!

Announcer: Say no. The Army. It’s like playing with a loaded gun.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King