Cabrini Green Meets the Gifted Wrapper


Cabrini Green Meets the Gifted Wrapper

Cabrini Green … Danitra Vance
The Gifted Wrapper … Damon Wayons

[Gift wrapping counter at a department store. Asatisfied customer receives a wrapped package from theguy behind the counter and exits just as CabriniGreen, the oft-pregnant teen, arrives with an item ofher own.]

Cabrini Green: Uh, could you wrap this presentfor me, please?

[The guy behind the counter raps as he wraps — andCabrini answers with raps of her own:]

The Gifted Wrapper:
Well, say no more
You’re on the right floor
An’ I’m ‘a give you more
Than you bargained for
See, I’m the Gifted Rapper and this is what I do
I wrap your package while I rhyme to you
This is my job all year around
And when I’m not doin’ this, I’m out on the town
See, I started as a deejay, playin’ funky songs
Then I got another job to fall back on

Cabrini Green:
Oh, hey, young man, your rap is really good
And I don’t want to be misunderstood
But could you wrap it?
Just wrap it!
Just take the tape and just wrap it!

The Gifted Wrapper:
Chill out, Miss Lady, and check out this
‘Cuz this here rhyme is on your shoppin’ list
All this crazy buyin’ only makes me fear
That people only love each other once ayear

Cabrini Green:
Hey, homeboy, I really gotta say
You rappin’ wrapper, just wrap away
Just wrap it!
Just wrap it!
Just wrap-a-wrap-a-wrap-a-wrap it!

The Gifted Wrapper:
You shouldn’t wait till Christmas to think about yourfriend
‘Cuz, December twenty-fourth, his life could end
Some Christmas spendin’ money you ain’t got
Tryin’ to play big shot
Yeah! Ha ha ha!

Cabrini Green:
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

The Gifted Wrapper:
But, if you promise me this: You keep my words inmind
The next time you come, I’ll spare you therhyme

Cabrini Green:
Ho ho ho! I hear what you say
I won’t save the love for only Christmasday

The Gifted Wrapper:
‘Cuz every day is special when you love each otherright

Cabrini Green and The Gifted Wrapper: [into thecamera]
So, live from New York, it’s Saturdaynight!

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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