Backstage With Tommy

85k: Jay Leno / The Neville Brothers

Backstage With Tommy

…..Jay Leno
…..Randy Quaid
Mike the Dog’s Trainer…..Jim Downey
Tommy Flanagan…..Jon Lovitz

[ Jay Leno enters SNL dressing room, where the cast is throwing a wild party ]

Jay Leno: Hi, guys! Randy!

Randy Quaid: Huh?

Jay Leno: I’m a little confused —

Randy Quaid: Good show, buddy! Good show tonight!

Jay Leno: Okay, thanks.

Randy Quaid: You want a beer?

Jay Leno: No, no thanks. I’m a little confused, where do I go?

Randy Quaid: Good luck to you tonight!

Jay Leno: Oh, thanks.

Randy Quaid: I don’t know.

[ Jay exits room and tries across the hall, where a make-up artist is working on Mike The Dog ]

Jay Leno: Excuse me. I’m a little lost.

Mike the Dog’s Trainer: Mike the Dog needs his quiet time.

Jay Leno: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to —

[ Jay exits the dressing room, steps back into the hall where he runs into Pathological Liar Tommy Flanagan ]

Jay Leno: Excuse me – do you work here?

Tommy Flanagan: Yes, I do.

Jay Leno: Maybe you can help me. I’m a little lost.

Tommy Flanagan: Oh, come on – follow me. I’m the producer – uhh.. the executive producer of this show! Yeah! [ leads Jay down the hlal, as they pass background personnel ] Like the costume; keep the hat. Like the hat. [ to Jay ] See the guy wearing the Abe Lincoln costume? Don’t talk to him – he’s a liar. Okay, this way. Here we go. [ leads Jay offscreen down a hall ] I know this studio like the back of my hand! Hey, what’s this wall doing here? Oh, yeah.. I had them build it, uh.. yesterday, when I was taking a nap! Yeah, that’s what I remember! [ comes back out ] Come on – ah, here’s the way we go!

[ leads Jay past a bank of secretaries ]

Tommy Flanagan: Hello, girls, how are you? [ the secretaries are silent ] See? They work for me! See how they didn’t say anything? I trained them. [ leads Jay offscreen down another hall ] Yeah. Here we go, let’s go into my office here, right through the, uh.. oh! Can’t open it now, uh.. the secretary had new keys made – just yesterday! I keep all my money in here, all my jewels, too – yeah! If there’s any missing, I know where they are. [ re-emerges ] Oh, here we go. This is it!

[ leads Jay onto the various sets and audience ]

Tommy Flanagan: You know, I built this studio – yeah! In nineteen-thirty.. uhh.. oh-nine! Let’s see now.. [ looking around ] Oh yeah, there’s a TV over there, and.. oh! This is the audience over here. Here’s a TV camera – yeah, I invented it, you know. Let’s see here.. oh, we gotta go this way. [ turns back around ] Yeah, come on, here we go. Yeah, you’re hosting the show, aren’t ya’?

Jay Leno: Yeah.

Tommy Flanagan: Yeah, I thought so! I used to host the show last year.

[ they pass through the Observational Comics set ]

Jay Leno: Really?

Tommy Flanagan: Yeah. Here’s where everybody eats. Yeah, this is where all the hosts go, through here..

[ leads Jay through the set’s door, directly onto one of the sets for the “Star Search” sketch ]

Tommy Flanagan: Ah, here we go! Yeah, that’s it. See, the audience sits up there, and we got, uh.. lights! Yeah, that’s what they are.

Jay Leno: Well, how does it start? I mean, how do you start the show?

Tommy Flanagan: Oh! We start with a sing– uh, dance number. Yeah, that’s it! The Rockettes! Yeah! We get them all lined up, and —

Jay Leno: No, no, no. It doesn’t start with a dance number. It starts when I say, [ faces camera ] “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

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