I Play The Maids


I Play The Maids

…..Lorne Michaels
…..Danitra Vance

[ open in Danitra Vance’s dressing room, Danitra’s reflection seen close-up in her mirror, the dressing room dor visible in the background of the mirror ]

Lorne Michaels: [ poking head hrough the open door ] Danitra, five minutes until the “Gone With The Wind” sketch.

Danitra Vance: [ singing ]“I’ve been alive for a long time,
And I played the very first maid.
I cooked the buns,
Nurse the chillings,
Did the house work.
I didn’t care if I got paid.

I played the maid who made the whole world laugh.
I played the maid who sewed Ms. Scarlet’s drapery dress.
I played the maid who helped Mae West get Cary Grant.
I play the maids I played the ma-a-id,

Fine Hollywood tradition,
I gave advice on what to do.
But now I have a more modern position.
I play the maids in prime-time, too.

I played the maid who has a hearty laugh.
I played the maid who’s pale-faced daughter tried to pass.
I was the maid who taught Shirley Temple how to dance.
I play the maids, I play the maids.
I am merry, and I play the maids.”

Lorne Michaels: [ poking his head back through the open door ] Five minutes, Danitra. Five minutes.

Thanks to Michael Cauley of SNL Song Transcriptsfor this transcript.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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