SNL Transcripts: Bronson Pinchot: 02/14/87


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February 14th, 1987

Bronson Pinchot

Paul Young

Paulina Poriskova

Buster Poindexter

Paul Young, “War Games”

  • Liberace In Heaven

    Piano playing is all the censors will allow.

  • Bronson Pinchot’s Monologue

    Pinchot reflects on old girlfriend he’s avoided while in New York.

  • Amerida

    Canadian takeover of United States irks one American (Phil Hartman).

  • Nightline

    “Amerida” plausibility is discussed further.

    Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel.

  • Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue

    Paulina Poriskova makes plea on behalf of pre-teen boys.

  • Derek Stevens Sells Out


    “Choppin’ Broccoli” is re-recorded as Birds Eye jingle.
    Recurring Characters: Derek Stevens.

  • Babette’s Valentine

    Babette (Nora Dunn) fumes over suitor’s (Phil Hartman) choice of gifts.

    Recurring Characters: Babette.

  • Paul Young perform “War Games”

  • Weekend Update with Dennis Miller

    Jacques Cousteau discusses mating ritual of napkin fish.

    A. Whitney Brown’s Big Picture focuses on Senate pay hike alternatives.

    Dennis Miller wears a full-sized Body Condom.

  • The Life of Golda Meir

    Meir’s (Paulina Poriskova) good looks hinder Israeli war efforts.

  • Police Sketch Artist

    Sketch artist (Kevin Nealon) alters own face to resemble crime suspect.

  • Hardware Store Gigolo

    Armando (Pinchot) tries to make it with Marge Keister (Jan Hooks) in hardware store.

    Recurring Characters: Marge Keister.

  • Paul Young perform “The Long Run”

  • Miss Connie’s Fable Nook

    Lebee (Kevin Nealon) brings smile to Princess’ (Paulina Poriskova) face.

    Recurring Characters: Miss Connie, Koko, Mishu, Lebee.

  • Buster Poindexter performs “Heart of Gold”

    SNL Transcripts

    • Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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