SNL Transcripts: Bronson Pinchot: 02/14/87


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February 14th, 1987

Bronson Pinchot

Paul Young

Paulina Poriskova

Buster Poindexter

Paul Young, “War Games”

  • Liberace In Heaven

    Piano playing is all the censors will allow.

  • Bronson Pinchot’s Monologue

    Pinchot reflects on old girlfriend he’s avoided while in New York.

  • Amerida

    Canadian takeover of United States irks one American (Phil Hartman).

  • Nightline

    “Amerida” plausibility is discussed further.

    Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel.

  • Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue

    Paulina Poriskova makes plea on behalf of pre-teen boys.

  • Derek Stevens Sells Out


    “Choppin’ Broccoli” is re-recorded as Birds Eye jingle.
    Recurring Characters: Derek Stevens.

  • Babette’s Valentine

    Babette (Nora Dunn) fumes over suitor’s (Phil Hartman) choice of gifts.

    Recurring Characters: Babette.

  • Paul Young perform “War Games”

  • Weekend Update with Dennis Miller

    Jacques Cousteau discusses mating ritual of napkin fish.

    A. Whitney Brown’s Big Picture focuses on Senate pay hike alternatives.

    Dennis Miller wears a full-sized Body Condom.

  • The Life of Golda Meir

    Meir’s (Paulina Poriskova) good looks hinder Israeli war efforts.

  • Police Sketch Artist

    Sketch artist (Kevin Nealon) alters own face to resemble crime suspect.

  • Hardware Store Gigolo

    Armando (Pinchot) tries to make it with Marge Keister (Jan Hooks) in hardware store.

    Recurring Characters: Marge Keister.

  • Paul Young perform “The Long Run”

  • Miss Connie’s Fable Nook

    Lebee (Kevin Nealon) brings smile to Princess’ (Paulina Poriskova) face.

    Recurring Characters: Miss Connie, Koko, Mishu, Lebee.

  • Buster Poindexter performs “Heart of Gold”

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