Great Moments in the History of White Trash I
Carl Starkwell…..Danny DeVito
Jolene Starkwell…..Nora Dunn
[ open on Carl & Jolene Starkwell drinking coffee at a table in a greasy spoon ]
Announcer: In an ongoing celebration of America’s cultural diversity, NBC proudly presents “Great Moment in the History of White Trash”.
Carl Starkwell: [ laughing ] To my newest bride. [ motions to pour liquor into Jolene’s cup of coffee ] Let me top that off for ya’.
Jolene Starkwell: Oh, honey.. it’s eight o’clock in the morning.
Carl Starkwell: Where does the time go! [ laughs ]
Jolene Starkwell: Well, alright. You’re gettin’ better lookin’ by the gulp.
Carl Starkwell: Well, you know.. you drink more than my sixth wife. Boy, is she a loser!
Jolene Starkwell: Well, I’ll make you forget all about her. What do ya say we drive up to Lookout Mountain and have ourselves a honeymoon?
Carl Starkwell: Uh.. I was gonna mention that, dearie. I think we’re gonna have to do that next week. The Trans Am’s up on blocks.
Jolene Starkwell: Alright. Pour me another.
Carl Starkwell: You got it, Sweet Cheeks![ SUPER: “Carl & Jolene Starkwell, First Cousins” ] [ zoom into box in upper right-hand corner, as Willie Nelson appears in the remainder of the screen ]
Willie Nelson: Carl never did get the Trans Am fixed. It just sat there in the front yard with it’s hood off ’til they got a divorce. Still, they sure were good people. This has been another Great Moment in the History of White Trash.