Great Moments in the History of White Trash III


Great Moments in the History of White Trash III

Clinton Johnson…..Kevin Nealon
Friend…..A. Whitney Brown

Announcer: And now, NBC presents another “Great Moment in the History of White Trash”.

[ open on Clinton Johnson and Friend eating donuts at lunch counter ]

Clinton Johnson: I could sit in here and eat donuts all day long.

Friend: I could, too. If I had the money.

Clinton Johnson: Yeah. Well, I got it made in the shade. I met a welfare mother with seven kids. The money’s just rollin’ in!

Friend: Are you fixin’ to marry her?

Clinton Johnson: Hell, no! They’d cut the benefits off like that! [ snaps finger ] I may be dumb, but I ain’t no fool. [ laughs ]

Friend: Hey, what say we go for a ride in your new Trans Am?

Clinton Johnson: Why not? The government’s payin’ for the gas!

[ they shake hands ] [ SUPER: “Clinton Johnson, Welfare Cheat” ] [ zoom into box in upper right-hand corner, as Willie Nelson appears in the remainder of the screen ]

Willie Nelson: Clinton Johnson sure was a no-account good-for-nothing. He went on to serve five years for kiting checks. Still, he was good people. This has been another Great Moment in the History of White Trash.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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