SNL Transcripts: Valerie Bertinelli: 02/28/87


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

February 28th, 1987

Valerie Bertinelli

Robert Cray Band

Edwin Newman

Eddie Van Halen

Robert Cray Band, “Smoking Gun”

Eddie Van Halen & G.E. Smith, “Stompin’ 8H”

  • Don Regan & Nancy Reagan

    Don Regan (Kevin Nealon) & Nancy Reagan (Jan Hooks) have affair.

    Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan.

  • Valerie Bertinelli’s Monologue

    Bertinelli is desperate to shed her girl-next-door image.

  • McSooshi

    (Repeat) See: 12/13/86

  • Hard News Cafe

    Journalists enjoy lunch at Hard News Cafe theme restaurant.

    Recurring Characters: Sam Donaldson, Ted Koppel.

  • Discover

    Peter Graves (Phil Hartman) is clueless about precious metals.

    Recurring Characters: Peter Graves.

  • Dinner with the Van Halens

    Roadies (Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller) secure dinner table.

  • Robert Cray Band performs “Smoking Gun”

  • Weekend Update with Dennis Miller

    Contest winner (Jon Lovitz) hangs out with David lee Roth (Dana Carvey).

    Kevin Nealon gets to the point about filing income tax returns.

  • Chinge Change

    Ching Change thinks stranger (Bertinelli) is the perfect woman.

    Recurring Characters: Ching Change.

  • Eddie Van Halen & SNL Band perform “Stompin’ 8H”

  • Washington Center I

    Plastic surgery patient (Nora Dunn) touts the clinic.

  • Let’s Go To The Movies

    College coeds (Bertinelli, Jan Hooks) praise “The Color of Money”.

  • Washington Center II

    Plastic surgery patient (Nora Dunn) praises in spite of mishaps.

  • On Broadway

    Yul Brynner’s replacement (Phil Hartman) is barely given a chance.

  • Robert Cray Band performs “Right Next Door”

  • Incompetent Doctor

    Incompetenet doctor (Jon Lovitz) wonders if he should have been an opera singer.

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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