SNL Transcripts: Valerie Bertinelli: 02/28/87

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

February 28th, 1987

Valerie Bertinelli

Robert Cray Band

Edwin Newman

Eddie Van Halen

Robert Cray Band, “Smoking Gun”

Eddie Van Halen & G.E. Smith, “Stompin’ 8H”

  • Don Regan & Nancy Reagan

    Don Regan (Kevin Nealon) & Nancy Reagan (Jan Hooks) have affair.

    Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan.

  • Valerie Bertinelli’s Monologue

    Bertinelli is desperate to shed her girl-next-door image.

  • McSooshi

    (Repeat) See: 12/13/86

  • Hard News Cafe

    Journalists enjoy lunch at Hard News Cafe theme restaurant.

    Recurring Characters: Sam Donaldson, Ted Koppel.

  • Discover

    Peter Graves (Phil Hartman) is clueless about precious metals.

    Recurring Characters: Peter Graves.

  • Dinner with the Van Halens

    Roadies (Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller) secure dinner table.

  • Robert Cray Band performs “Smoking Gun”

  • Weekend Update with Dennis Miller

    Contest winner (Jon Lovitz) hangs out with David lee Roth (Dana Carvey).

    Kevin Nealon gets to the point about filing income tax returns.

  • Chinge Change

    Ching Change thinks stranger (Bertinelli) is the perfect woman.

    Recurring Characters: Ching Change.

  • Eddie Van Halen & SNL Band perform “Stompin’ 8H”

  • Washington Center I

    Plastic surgery patient (Nora Dunn) touts the clinic.

  • Let’s Go To The Movies

    College coeds (Bertinelli, Jan Hooks) praise “The Color of Money”.

  • Washington Center II

    Plastic surgery patient (Nora Dunn) praises in spite of mishaps.

  • On Broadway

    Yul Brynner’s replacement (Phil Hartman) is barely given a chance.

  • Robert Cray Band performs “Right Next Door”

  • Incompetent Doctor

    Incompetenet doctor (Jon Lovitz) wonders if he should have been an opera singer.

    SNL Transcripts

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