SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 10/17/87


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 13: Episode 1

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


October 17th, 1987

Steve Martin



Bruce Babbitt

Cheryl Hardwick
The UntouchablesSummary: Because he’s said too much, President Ronald Reagan (Phil Hartman) clubs Robert Bork (Jon Lovitz) in the head.

Recurring Characters: President Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Robert Bork.


MontageNote: Studio 8-H was evacuated just before dress rehearsal because there was a fire in a nearby studio. Even though they were unable to perform a dress rehearsal, Steve Martin was insistent with going ahead with the live show.

Steve Martin’s MonologueSummary: Steve Martin doesn’t let a technician strike mar the effect of his tap dance sequence to the song “I Bite Down Hard,” even though it would be more significant if someone were operating the cameras.

First Hosted: 76e.


Gary Hart AdSummary: Gary Hart’s effect on women makes him too hard for them to get him out of their mind.


Common KnowledgeSummary: High schoolers’ stupidity determines answers to common knowledge trivia questions.

Recurring Characters: Jeanne kirkpatrick.


The NFL TodaySummary: Brent Musberger (Kevin Nealon) questions Jimmy the Greek’s (Phil Hartman) sports predictions.

Recurring Characters: Brent Musberger, Jimmy the Greek, George Plimpton.

Slide Whistle Sound EffectsSummary: The sounds of slide whistles reveal a couple’s (Martin, Victoria Jackson) dating expectations.


Sting performs “We’ll Be Together”Bio: Sting (1951-). Musician; realname: Gordon Sumner; former lead singer/bass player for The Police, 1978-83; released his first solo album in 1985; film appearances include “Dune” (1984); human rights activist; married actress Trudie Styler (his secodn wife) in 1992.

Hosted: 90k, 96o.

Also Performed: 90k, 92n, 95n, 96o, 99f.

Weekend Update with Dennis MillerSummary: Al Franken interviews Bruce Babbitt about his abuse of supermarket express lanes. Via song, Victoria Jackson says to the world: “I Am Not A Bimbo!”


Bullets Aren’t CheapSummary: A penny-pinching James Bond (Steve Martin) faces his nemesis, Goldsting (Sting).

Recurring Characters: James Bond.


Permission To Speak FreelySummary: Naval officers (Steve Martin, Jon Lovitz) abuse their Permission to Speak Freely by-law privileges.

Note: Steve Martin accidentally spits on Jon Lovitz while yelling at him.


Sting performs “Little Wing”

Adventures In The Lost RealmSummary: An expedition team waits for a dinosaur to finish eating their companion (Jon Lovitz).

Pumping Up with Hans & FranzSummary: Narcissistic bodybuilders, Hans (Dana Carvey) and Franz (Kevin Nealon), insult their fitness viewers.

Recurring Characters: Hans, Franz.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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