SNL Transcripts: Sean Penn: 10/24/87: Fatal Attraction II


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 13: Episode 4

87b: Sean Penn / L.L. Cool J, Michael Penn & The Pull

Fatal Attraction II

…..Sean Penn
Alex…..L.L. Cool J

[ open in Sean Penn’s dressing room ] [ the phone rings, as Sean stares at it in horror ]

Sean Penn: [ answers ] Hello! Look, Alex, we agreed that you weren’t going to call any more! No, I don’t love you, Alex, because you’re a very sick person! I feel very sorry for you, but I’m warning you – you bother me again, I’ll call the police!

[ SUPER: “Fatal Attraction II” ]

[ phone rings again ]

Sean Penn: [ answers ] This is sick! Why are you doing this?! [ pause ] Oh.. I’m sorry, honey.. no, I thought it was someone else.. uh, this crank caller.. yeah, thanks, I love you, too. Yeah, I’ll call you after the show. Goodbye. [ hangs up, then dials Security ] Yeah, uh.. if an Alex Forrerst calls, just say I’m not here, and don’t take any messages, alright? Thanks. [ hangs up ] [ Alex knocks on the door, then enters ]

Alex: Hello, Sean.

Sean Penn: Alex..

Alex: I missed you.

Sean Penn: [ stands ] Alex, how did you get in here?

Alex: I told you about my parole hearing, Sean. Why didn’t you come?

Sean Penn: Look, Alex, you’re gonna have to leave!

Alex: No, Sean.. we have to talk about us.. homeboy.

Sean Penn: [ sits ] Alex, I.. I.. don’t think we have anything to talk about.. you were very nice to me in prison, you kept the bigger inmates away from me. I’m very grateful, but that’s as far as it goes – I have a wife!

Alex: Oh, you have a wife now – Madonna, the fabulous Madonna. I guess I’d be a bit of a come-down after her, huh?

Sean Penn: No, that’s not fair.. I mean.. I think you’re a wonderful person. I don’t know, maybe things would be different if I’d met you first, but I didn’t..

Alex: If there’s no chance for us, just say so.

Sean Penn: [ looks at Madonna’s picture, then at Alex, back at Madonna’s picture, then back at Alex ] Could we talk about it after the show?

Alex: I think we’d better. Yeah.

Sean Penn: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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