Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 13: Episode 4
Narrator: She was like the air. Brittle and easily broken.[ shows title: COMPULSION, as dramatic music starts ]
How could one so perfect, be so flawed?
Woman: Not now. I’m busy. [ is seen scrubbing the stairs ]
Narrator: She was an incondescant angel, dancing on the edge of a ritual that was both innocent and jejune.
Man: Yes. She was.
Narrator: [ annoyed at man ] Her translucent figure, glowing in the light andfire of her overwhelming passion.[ Woman picks up a chess piece and wipes under it, then looks at the sponge and sees the dirt it picked up ]
Woman: Save me…. [ Man pulls her toward him ]
Narrator: I wonder what was the greater transgression. Loving her, or abiding her immaculate madness.[ a wine glass is knocked over, as Woman tries to clean up the mess ]
Model: A little club soda will get that out.
Narrator: She was consumed. Obsessed. Never able to enjoy her own party.
Man: I alone felt her torment. Her deepest secrets known only to me.[ Narrator slaps Man in the face ]
Woman: If keeping a clean house is a crime, then let me be guilty!
Model: Guilty! [ another model gasps ]
Narrator: A horrifying creature. What was it we could not give her, or sheunderstand? [ everyone is dancing, while woman tries to vacuum after them ] [ setting is now black and white and shows Woman behind bottle of Compulsion ]Woman: Somewhere between cleanliness and godliness lies Compulsion, theworld’s most indulgent disinfectant. From Calvin Kleen.
Announcer: Ah, the price of it.
Submitted by: Tony DuMont