SNL Transcripts: Justine Bateman: 02/13/88


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 13: Episode 11

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

February 13th, 1988

Justine Bateman

Terence Trent D’Arby


Dan Aykroyd

Tom Davis
Republican Debate ’88Summary: Bob Dole (Dan Aykroyd) asserts authority over his fellow Republicans during their first debate for their party’s 1988 election nomination.

Recurring Characters: Pat Schroeder, George Bush, Bob Dole, Pat Robertson.



Justine Bateman’s MonologueSummary: Justine Bateman tells the morbid story of St. Valentine.

Bio: Justine Bateman (1966-). Actress; portrayed Mallory Keaton on TV series “Family Ties”, 1982-89; started her own fashion dsign company in 2000; her younger brother is actor Jason Bateman.


Family TiesSummary: Justine Bateman introduces the latest upcoming very special flashback of “Family Ties,” which looks back on past very special flashback episodes and the Keaton Family’s favorite episode of “The Jeffersons.”


Learning to FeelSummary: Psychologist Denie Venetti (Nora Dunn) continues to advise her guests to look at themselves.

Recurring Characters: Denise Venetti, Neil Simmons.

Terrance Trent D’Arby performs “Wishing Well”Bio: Terence Trent D’Arby (1962-). Singer-songwriter; legally changed his name to Sananda Maitreya in 2001.

Weekend Update with Dennis MillerSummary: Al Franken demonstrates how his one-man mobile uplink equipment operates for his report on the weather at the New Hampshire primary, even as the equipment weighs him down.

Derek Stevens in LoveSummary: Derek Stevens (Dana Carvey) is recording mroe than songs than ever, thanks to his muse of a girlfriend (Justine Bateman). But the well may run dry when she tires of him constantly referencing their lives in his new songs.

Recurring Characters: Derek Stevens.


In and Out, Nobody Gets HurtSummary: In 1929, Bugsy (Kevin Nealon) tries to explain his foolproof bank robbery plan to his gang, but they can’t seem to grasp the concept of getting in and out so that nobody gets hurt.

Terrance Trent D’Arby performs “Under My Thumb”

Laughing at LindaSummary: Michael’s (Jon Lovitz) ditzy young girlfriend, Linda (Justine Bateman), is convinced that his well-to-do friends are making fun of her behind her back.


Friday Night VideosSummary: Justine Bateman struggles to make awkward small talk with her out-of-place guest host, George F. Will (Dana Carvey).

Recurring Characters: George F. Will.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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