SNL Transcripts: Tom Hanks: 02/20/88: Calgary ’88


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 13: Episode 12

87l: Tom Hanks / Randy Travis

Calgary ’88

Mark Mossano…..Tom Hanks
Jim McKay…..Dana Carvey
Dick Button……Phil Hartman
Peggy Fleming…..Jan Hooks



Jim McKay (V/O): We’re back live at the Saddledome in Calgary, where Mark Mossano, the young figure skater from Rockford, Illinois is about to face the greatest test of his life.

[ MARK MOSSANO, wearing a kid’s cowboy hat and a studded periwinkle unitard, waits to go on the rink. ] [ INT. CALGARY SADDLEDOME – ABC SPORTS BOOTH – NIGHT ] [ Announcers JIM MCKAY and DICK BUTTON stand next to each other holding microphones. ]

Jim McKay: Hello, I’m Jim McKay and with me is Dick Button.

Dick Button: Hello.

Jim McKay: Dick, Dick… Mark is not expected to win a medal here in Calgary and realistically – – he has no chance for one.

Dick Button: No, but Jim, watching him skate earlier today… I don’t think that’s on his mind. I think he’s here for the sheer thrill of competing in the Olympics.

Jim McKay: Well, what is it about Mark Mossano that makes him so exciting? Certainly for technique, he’s no match for the skaters we’ve seen tonight.

Dick Button: Well, Jim, it’s that elusive quality we call… style. He skates with an abandon that’s almost primitive and how fitting for an Olympics held in this wild, frontier town. But I can’t quite put my finger on it. All I can say is — I very much like this young man.

[ INT. CALGARY SADDLEDOME – ICE RINK – NIGHT ] [ Mossano takes to the center of the ice. ]

Jim McKay (V/O): He’s taking the ice now.

[ Mossano poses his arms in the air and waits for the music. ]

Jim McKay (V/O): Mark Mossano.

[ The theme from “Bonanza” begins playing on the speakers. Mossano stumbles. ]

Dick Button (V/O): Oh! A stumble!

[ Mossano pulls out two, toy pistols from the holsters on his unitard and starts prancing on the ice. ]

Dick Button (V/O): But what a bold choice of music! And what a marvelous costume! A fitting choice for an Olympics held in this wild, frontier town.

[ The music changes to 1930’s big band ensemble. Mossano continues to prance. ]

Dick Button (V/O): Oh! A tempo change! Very dramatic.

Jim McKay (V/O): How true.

Dick Button (V/O): Very nice. You know Jim, watching him skate, I’m reminded of a young Robin Cousins.

Jim McKay (V/O): Really? How so, Dick?

Dick Button (V/O): Well… it’s hard to explain. Never mind.

[ Mossano tip-toe dances on the ice, flailing the toy guns near his lips. ]

Dick Button (V/O): Whoa-ho! Look at those six-shooters blazing! He’s taking that ice like some modern-day Wyatt Earp; attacking it with verve and pizzazz and fun.

[ Mossano strikes a finishing pose. ]

Dick Button (V/O): A winning, marvelous program and a sexy one to boot!

Jim McKay (V/O): Definitely… very sexy.

[ INT. CALGARY SADDLEDOME – ABC SPORTS BOOTH – NIGHT ] [ McKay and Button side-by-side. ]

Jim McKay: Now let us watch young Mark Mossano as he waits to see the judges scoring…

[ INT. CALGARY SADDLEDOME – KISS AND CRY ZONE – NIGHT ] [ Mossano pants heavily and views the scoring board off screen. ] [ SUPER: URS-0.1, FRG-0.1, USA-0.1, CAN-0.1, GDR-0.0, AUS-0.2, TCH-0.0, GBR-0.0, POL-0.0

Dick Button (V/O): 0.1, 0.1, 0.1, 0.1, 0.0 — that’s the East German judge. 0.2, another no, 0.0, 0.0 and another 0.0.


Dick Button: Well Jim, I really think these scores are very low. I really do.

Jim McKay: Well Dick, Peggy Fleming is ringside with Mark to get his reaction. Let’s go to Peggy…

[ INT. CALGARY SADDLEDOME – KISS AND CRY ZONE – NIGHT ] [ PEGGY FLEMING stands next to Mossano, who’s panting harder than before. ]

Peggy Fleming: Well, technically Mark that was the best I’ve ever seen you skate. Um, what was it tonight that was special for you?

[ Mossano can’t speak due to his panting. ]

Peggy Fleming: Okay… um, did the performance of your teammate Brian Boitano give you a lift?

[ Mossano shakes his head yet still not speak. ]

Peggy Fleming: Uh-huh… well, is there anything you’d like to say to your family back home?

Mark Mossano: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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