Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 14: Episode 5
Bush’s Final Negative Ad
George Bush…..Dana Carvey
Announcer: On November 8th, Americans narrowly averted making adisastrous choice that would have led us on a path of irreversible despair. That choice was Michael Dukakis.
[ show George Bush sitting in his living room ]
Bush: Hello, I’m George Bush. You know, it was a great littlecampaign, and we’re very grateful. We won the election, and we raised, as it turns out, a great deal more money than we needed. More than we could have possibly spent in the time allowed. Now, federal campaign finance laws say we must spend this money, or it reverts to the Federal Treasury. To avoid that terrible waste, we’ve decided to spend the money on one last, beautifully produced, negative ad. It’s our way of saying Thank You to all the many many thousands of people who touched our lives during this very long and very tough campaign. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this final negative ad. C’mon kids, come in here and enjoy! [ his grandkids jump on the couch with him as the ad plays ]
Announcer: Last Tuesday, Americans might possibly have chosen the candidate of.. Willie Horton.. Boston Harbor.. flag-burning.. and Jimmy Carter!
[ show Bush speech ]
Bush: “What is it about the Pledge of Allegience that upsets him so much?”
[ show another Bush speech ]
Bush: “..New Jersey, and talks about the pollution in New Jersey.. look over his shoulder, there’s Boston Harbor.”
[ show Arnold Schwartzenegger giving a speech ]
Schwartzenegger: “When it comes to America’s future, Michael Dukakis will be the real Terminator!”
Announcer; Last Tuesday, you made the right choice. You voted against runaway spending, you rejected a weakened defense, you said no to rape, taxes, child pornography, and filthy water. On November 8th, you dodged a bullet. Bush: He beat a bad man.
[ cut back to George Bush and the grandkids ]
Bush: Did you like that, kids? Did you like that?
Bush: God bless you, everybody! I’ll see you in January, but until then, from all of us..
Bush & Grandkids: “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!“