SNL Transcripts: Demi Moore: 11/12/88: Businessman’s Chatter Line

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 14: Episode 5

88e: Demi Moore / Johnny Clegg & Savuka

Businessman’s Chatter Line

Businessman #1 ….. Phil Hartman
Businessman #2 ….. Kevin Nealon
Businessman #3 ….. Jon Lovitz
Businessman #4 ….. Dana Carvey

[ Businessman #1 sits by a window, looking sad. ]

Male V/O: Sometimes, it’s lonely being a businessman. That’s why you need …

[ Cut to the title still. Bouncy techno music plays. ]

Female V/O: Businessman’s Chatter Line!

[ Cut to Businessman #1 on the phone with Businessman #2 ]

Businessman #1: So what color of suit do you like? Blue or gray?

Businessman #2: Well, I think I lean toward gray.

Businessman #1: I like gray, but blue is good too.

Businessman #2: Yes, it is.

Female V/O: Businessman’s Chatter Line can handle up to 14 businessmen at one time.

[ Two other businessmen join the conversation ]

Businessman #3: So, do you live in the city or do you commute?

Businessman #4: Oh, I commute!

Businessman #3: Me too!

Businessman #1: I used to live in the city, but now I commute.

Female V/O: With Businessman’s Chatter Line, you can make crazy new friends!

Businessman #1: So what sports do you guys play?

Businessman #2: Golf.

Businessman #3: Golf.

Businessman #4: I don’t play anything, but I was thinking of taking up golf.

Businessman #1: Yeah, that’s what I play! Golf!

Female V/O: Businessman’s Chatter Line! Dial 1-900-BIZ-TALK. Only five tax-deductible dollars per minute, plus tolls if any.

Male V/O: No non-businessmen, please. Crank calls will be prosecuted.

[ fade to black ]

Submitted by: G. Gomez

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