SNL Transcripts: Danny DeVito: 12/03/88: Danny DeVito’s Monologue

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 14: Episode 7





88g: Danny DeVito / The Bangles

Danny DeVito’s Monologue

…..Danny DeVito

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Danny DeVito!

Danny DeVito: [ excited ] Oh, thank you, thank you, oh thank you! Oh, my God, oh boy! Oh, this is it! This is it! This is what it’s all about, I mean this is why I do the show! Do you know what I mean? You hit those doors, they call your name, you guys are screaming! The adrenaline’s pumping out of me like crazy! I come to the Center Stage – yahoooooo!!! [ stops to reflect ] I want to do it again! Can I do it again? [ audience goes wild ] I’m gonna do it again!

[ runs to Arnold Schwartzenegger, seated next to wife Maria Shriver in the audience ]

Arnold Schwartzenegger: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.. [ claps ] ..Night!”

[ opening theme music and credits play, between shots of Danny DeVito watching from a monitor backstage with Stage Manager Joe Dicso watching for the cue ]

Announcer: It’s “Saturday Night Live”!

With: Dana Carvey!

Nora Dunn!

Phil Hartman!

Jan Hooks!

Victoria Jackson!

Jon Lovitz!

Dennis Miller!

And Kevin Nealon!

And featuring: G.E. Smith & the Saturday Night Live Band!

Musical guest: The Bangles!

And starring: Danny DeVito!

Ladies and gentlemen, Danny DeVito!

[ DeVito re-enters Center Stage, more excited than before ]

Danny DeVito: Oh, that was worth it, that was worth it, that was really worth it! Oh, my God.. oh, my God.. I’d come out a third time, but I don’t think I got it in me! I swear to God! Oh, man, that is the best! Excuse me a second.. I gotta sit down.. [ lies on his back on the floor ] Whoo! Oh, my God.. oh, yeah.. We got a really great show tonight! [ laughs ] Oh, God.. We got The Bangles! And a lot of funny stuff. [ catches breath ] Okay.. okay, I’ll just lay here for a little bit.. Okay.. alright, now, don’t go away, because.. we’ll be right back.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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