Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 14: Episode 7
Danny DeVito’s Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Danny DeVito!
Danny DeVito: [ excited ] Oh, thank you, thank you, oh thank you! Oh, my God, oh boy! Oh, this is it! This is it! This is what it’s all about, I mean this is why I do the show! Do you know what I mean? You hit those doors, they call your name, you guys are screaming! The adrenaline’s pumping out of me like crazy! I come to the Center Stage – yahoooooo!!! [ stops to reflect ] I want to do it again! Can I do it again? [ audience goes wild ] I’m gonna do it again![ runs to Arnold Schwartzenegger, seated next to wife Maria Shriver in the audience ]
Arnold Schwartzenegger: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.. [ claps ] ..Night!”[ opening theme music and credits play, between shots of Danny DeVito watching from a monitor backstage with Stage Manager Joe Dicso watching for the cue ]
Announcer: It’s “Saturday Night Live”!
With: Dana Carvey!
And Kevin Nealon!
And featuring: G.E. Smith & the Saturday Night Live Band!
Musical guest: The Bangles!
And starring: Danny DeVito!
Ladies and gentlemen, Danny DeVito![ DeVito re-enters Center Stage, more excited than before ]
Danny DeVito: Oh, that was worth it, that was worth it, that was really worth it! Oh, my God.. oh, my God.. I’d come out a third time, but I don’t think I got it in me! I swear to God! Oh, man, that is the best! Excuse me a second.. I gotta sit down.. [ lies on his back on the floor ] Whoo! Oh, my God.. oh, yeah.. We got a really great show tonight! [ laughs ] Oh, God.. We got The Bangles! And a lot of funny stuff. [ catches breath ] Okay.. okay, I’ll just lay here for a little bit.. Okay.. alright, now, don’t go away, because.. we’ll be right back.