SNL Transcripts: Mel Gibson: 04/01/89: Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 14: Episode 16

88p: Mel Gibson / Living Colour

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist

Colleen…..Jan Hooks
Secretary…..Victoria Jackson
Other Patient…..Bonnie Turner
Dream Gynecologist…..Mel Gibson
Miss Stevenson…..Christine Zander
Mrs. Scott…..Nora Dunn
Dr. Green…..Jon Lovitz

[ open on a larger than necessary group of women sitting in a waiting room ]

Colleen: I’m Colleen Walsh, and I have a 10 o’clock appointment with the doctor. I’m a new patient.

Secretary: Take a number.

Colleen: Take a number? Wow.. Okay. [ takes number and sits down ]

Secretary: [ answers phone ] Yes? No, I’m sorry, the doctor’sbooked solid. No, I wouldn’t advise just coming and waiting. No, wenever get a cancellation. [ hangs up ]

Colleen: Boy, this doctor’s busy, huh?

Other Patient: Oh, yeah.

Colleen: I hope I don’t have to wait long, or I know I’ll chicken out. I hate going to the gynecologist, don’t you?

Other Patient: [ shakes head ] Not really.

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist: [ steps out of his office ] Uh.. Miss Stevenson?

[ title graphic appears over Mel Gibson ]

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist: And now, another episode of MelGibson: Dream Gynecologist.

[ Miss Stevenson brushes her hair before approaching the doctor ]

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist: I hope you didn’t have to waittoo long.

Miss Stevenson: Oh, no, not at all! [ hurries into the office ]

Colleen: [ looking on ] Oh.

[ Mrs. Scott exits the doctor’s office, looking wholly fulfilled, andrushes to the Secretary’s station ]

Mrs. Scott: I’d like to book my next appointment now, please.

Secretary: Good idea, Mrs. Scott. Okay, the doctor can see youin six months..

Mrs. Scott: No! Next week!

Secretary: [ sighing ] Please, Mrs. Scott. We go through thisevery time.

Mrs. Scott: I need another breast exam!

Secretary: You just had one.

Mrs. Scott: I’m extremely cautious!

Secretary: Okay, look – September 4th, six months from now. Take it or leave it.

Mrs. Scott: Alright, alright.. [ exits the lobby ]

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist: [ stepping out ] Ladies, I just.. [ all the women moan and sigh ] I just want ot say, I’m sorry we’re running a little late today. It seems we’re running late every day. I just didn’t foresee the practice growing this quickly..

Women: That’s okay.. that’s okay..

Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist: So today I’ve added a new doctor.. Dr. Green.. [ Dr. Green steps out ] ..Dr. Green will be available for anybody who would like to see him, and you can avoid me. So, just feel free to give your name to him.. [ retreats to his office ]

Dr. Green: Next. [ no response ] Well.. I’ll, uh.. be in my office all afternoon..

Announcer: Join us next week for Mel Gibson: Dream Gynecologist.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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