SNL Transcripts: Mel Gibson: 04/01/89: Mel Gibson’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 14: Episode 16

88p: Mel Gibson / Living Colour

Mel Gibson’s Monologue

…..Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson: Thank you very much for that! It’s great to be here. Actually, it’s kind of weird to be here, I’m not really accustomed to doing TV. Uh, see, basically I’m a movie star. But that’s a great job, though – you travel around the world, you work with beautiful women, you drive fast cars, and they pay you ridiculous amounts of money.

And this is the good bit – this part will really kill you – I don’t have to work very hard. And it’s fun. I do my own stunts. If you see my character jump from a building, hey that’s me; and when you see me land, that’s the stunt man.

Now, before I was a movie star, I had other jobs, you know, low-paying, menial jobs. And I can tell you the best job I ever had was being a professional movie star. Because, as a movie star, I get paid a ridiculous amount of money and I don’t have to work that hard. So, to sum it all up, being a movie star – high reward, low effort. Now, for this show, I’m getting paid next to nothing, and it’s been a tremendous amount of hard work, so right away I know I don’t like television. And, as I stand here, I realize that, in a live broadcast like this, something could go terribly wrong, and I could end up alienating millions of movie-going patrons.

Basically, hosting “Saturday Night Live” is, for me – high risk, low reward. As opposed to movies, which is, once again – high reward, low effort. And you may be wondering why I would jeopardize all that I have worked for.. [ laughs ] ..well, actually, it’s just fallen into my lap.

Is it because I want to stretch as an actor? No, no, that would be work. Is it because I really love comedy? Well, no, no, not particularly. So why did I agree to host this show? Because sometimes I just don’t think things through. I mean, if someone calls and says, “Hey, you wanna host ‘Saturday Night Live’?”, I say, “Sure!” without even considering the potentially disastrous effect on my real job – a movie star.

So, if tonight I should appear inadequate, ordinary, not larger-than-life, or, at worst, un-movie star-like, just say to yourslef, “Hey, he might not be a great TV star, but I just can’t wait to see him in “Lethal Weapon 6”.

Well, we’ve got a great show tonight, and Danny Glover is here – he is. And I can tell you, because I talked to him, that he feels pretty much the way that I do about all this. Living Colour is here, so stick around, we’ll be right back.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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