SNL Transcripts: Dolly Parton: 04/15/89: The Rusty Bone

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 14: Episode 16







88q: Dolly Parton

The Rusty Bone

Bob…..Dana Carvey
Larry…..Jon Lovitz
Angry Wife…..Nora Dunn
Sheba…..Victoria Jackson
Sparky…..Phil Hartman
Sexy Poodle…..Jan Hooks
Kevin…..Kein Nealon

Bob: Hey, Larry, there you are!

Larry: Hey, Bob! You made it! [ tail raises and wags ]

Bob: Oh, yeah! Good to see ya, boy! Good to see ya! [ pats Larry ] I almost didn’t make it.

Larry: Why.. what happened?

Bob: Well, I was chasing after a taxi, and then I almost got run over.

Larry: Ohhh.. [ tail droops, then jumps up again ] But you did make it!

Bob: [ tail wagging rapidly ] I made it, I made it, yeah!

[ cut to a pair of catwomen: Angry Wife seated at table as Sheba enters ]

Angry Wife: Sheba? I have something to say to you?

Sheba: Do I know you? What do you want?

Angry Wife: You know my husband – you’ve been sleeping with him!

[ their tails raise pointedly in anger, as they scowl at one another ] [ Sparky enters bar, tail drooping ]

Larry: Hey, Sparky!

Bob: Sparky! What’s the matter?

Sparky: Oh, my boss chewed me out again.. he said my report was bad.. he kept saying it was bad..! ..bad! [ tail droops betwene his legs ]

Bob: Really? We thought it was good! You’re good..! ..good!

Sparky: [ happy, tail raises ] Oh, you really think so? Oh, thanks! I feel a lot better!

[ sexy Poodle enters the bar, as the three Dogmen point, raise their legs, and their tails spring straight into the air ] [ Kevin, seated at table, stands up, his tail pointed straight over a candle. A spark from the candle sends his tail into flames as he howls. ] [ fade out ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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