Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 14: Episode 16
The Rusty Bone
Bob…..Dana Carvey
Larry…..Jon Lovitz
Angry Wife…..Nora Dunn
Sheba…..Victoria Jackson
Sparky…..Phil Hartman
Sexy Poodle…..Jan Hooks
Kevin…..Kein Nealon
Bob: Hey, Larry, there you are!
Larry: Hey, Bob! You made it! [ tail raises and wags ]
Bob: Oh, yeah! Good to see ya, boy! Good to see ya! [ pats Larry ] I almost didn’t make it.
Larry: Why.. what happened?
Bob: Well, I was chasing after a taxi, and then I almost got run over.
Larry: Ohhh.. [ tail droops, then jumps up again ] But you did make it!
Bob: [ tail wagging rapidly ] I made it, I made it, yeah!
[ cut to a pair of catwomen: Angry Wife seated at table as Sheba enters ]
Angry Wife: Sheba? I have something to say to you?
Sheba: Do I know you? What do you want?
Angry Wife: You know my husband – you’ve been sleeping with him!
[ their tails raise pointedly in anger, as they scowl at one another ]
[ Sparky enters bar, tail drooping ]
Larry: Hey, Sparky!
Bob: Sparky! What’s the matter?
Sparky: Oh, my boss chewed me out again.. he said my report was bad.. he kept saying it was bad..! ..bad! [ tail droops betwene his legs ]
Bob: Really? We thought it was good! You’re good..! ..good!
Sparky: [ happy, tail raises ] Oh, you really think so? Oh, thanks! I feel a lot better!
[ sexy Poodle enters the bar, as the three Dogmen point, raise their legs, and their tails spring straight into the air ]
[ Kevin, seated at table, stands up, his tail pointed straight over a candle. A spark from the candle sends his tail into flames as he howls. ]
[ fade out ]
