Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 14: Episode 16
Dolly Parton’s Monologue
Dolly Parton: Whoo, boy! Thank you so much! I think it’s only fair for you folks in the audience to know I had about twelve buses of folks shipped down from Dollywood, just so I could get a good reception, and I thankyou, I thank you, you did good! How do you like my outfit! You recognize it, don’t you? This is the NBC Peacock! That’s because Lorne Michaels told me to wear this, ’cause he wanted me to shake my tail feathers for ya! [ turns around and shakes her booty ] I’m gonna do it, too!
Oh, it really is great to be here in New York – I always have a good time here – but I have to be honest with you, though, I was a little nervous and a little worried about coming here. You know, it’s “Saturday Night Live” and all, and you here all kinds of things, but.. don’t you folks believe that for a minute! These folks have gone out of their way to make me feel like one of the family. You know it’s amazing to me how hard these people work.. [ camera zooms in on Dolly’s cleavage ] I mean, they have put this thing together in just one week! I mean, monday, they start coming up with ideas; and then Tuesday, they start to write ’em; and then Wednesday, why we’re rehearsing; and before you know it, it’s SAturday and it’s time to do the show! [ camera quickly zooms out before Dolly notices ]
But I’ve done a lot of television in Hollywood, and I’ve done a lot of TV in Nashville. But I have to honestly say, things are a lot different here in New York. Really. I mean, everything is just so artistic here. [ cameraman is seen hanging from a rope above the stage ] I mean, like for instance, this guy. I mean, in Hollywood, they would never even try a shot like that! But up here, the spirit is just, “Hang a guy up by the roof, and put a camera in his hands and see what it looks like!” [ hanging cameraman’s angle is shown, a direct bird’s-eye-view of Dolly’s cleavage ] It may not always work.. but, at least, you gotta give them credit for trying! God bless their little hearts, they’ve been good to me!
I tell you what, I think we’ve got a great show tonight! I brought my band, and I’m gonna be doing the singing tonight, so stick around, we’ll be right back! I’m glad to be here with you!