SNL Transcripts: Ed O’Neill: 01/13/90: BiziLady


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 15: Episode 10

89j: Ed O’Neill / Harry Connick, Jr.


…..Jan Hooks
…..Nora Jones
…..Victoria Jackson

[ open on Victoria Jackson running through the streets of New York to catch a cab. Once inside, she casually removes product from purse and nicks off a few unwanted hairs around her knees. ]

“She’s on the go
Movin’ fast
She’s gonna make that smooth look last.
She’s BiziLadyyyyyyyy!BiziLady!”

[ cut to Nora Dunn at a business meeting. As she makes her presentation, she casually reaches underneath the table to nick a few unwanted hairs from her leg with product. The men do their best to get a look under the table. ]

“She’s movin’ up now
And men don’t care.
‘Cause they can’t see unwanted hair.
Under the ladyyyyyy!

[ cut to Jan Hooks on a date at the opera. Paying no mind to the other people in the theatre, she stretches her arm up and uses product to remove a few unwanted hairs from her armpit. Her date expresses his pleasure. ]

“She’s soft to touch
Not like a man.
Just want to stay as smooth as she can.
With BiziLadyyyyyyyy!

[ cut to Victoria Jackson picking up her young daughter at school. The young girl is using a simulated product to remove unwanted hairs from a baby doll’s leg. As Victoria leans down, her daughter uses the product to remove a few unwanted hairs from Victoria’s upper lip. ]

“She’s soft and sleek
Smooth and soft
Sleek and soft
Soft and soft.

[ show product in front of a perfectly-shaved wonman’s leg ]

Announcer: Now there isn’t anywhere you can’t be smooth.

BiziLady. The anywhere shaver from Go Girl Products.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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