Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 15: Episode 13
Black History Moment
Andy Rooney … Phil Hartman
Don Pardo V/O: [over a graphic that reads: BLACKHISTORY MOMENT] NBC is proud to present another BlackHistory Moment. And now … Andy Rooney.[Dissolve to elderly, gray-haired Andy Rooney, seatedat the desk in his cluttered office, addressing thecamera.]
Andy Rooney: February’s Black History Month in thisgreat multicultural nation of ours. I think I knowjust a little bit about history because, at themoment, I AM history. But did you know that GeorgeWashington Carver, a black man, introduced thecultivation of peanuts to America? He also inventedpeanut butter. He was a wonderful man. And did youever notice how peanut butter tastes better on darkbread? Dark beer is better, too. And black bean soupis much better than white bean. Dark is just better.And black is best. I’m Andy Rooney and I like blackpeople. I really do. … It’s fags I hate.