Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 15: Episode 18
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89r: Alec Baldwin / The B-52’s
Greenhilly
Mr. Cherrywood…..Alec Baldwin
Julie…..Jan Hooks
Madam…..Nora Dunn
Maid…..Victoria Jackson
Harry……Phil Hartman
Julie: Oh, that was great fun, Mr. Cherrywood! We must do it again sometime!
Mr. Cherrywood: If your ideaof great fun is chasing a fuzzy little ball over God’s creation, then I pity you!
Julie: [ laughs ] You know, Mr. Cherrywood, I don’t think you’re half as cranky as you would have ne believe. [ laughs, then notices a bird in the room ] Oh! A bird has flown in! What do we do!
Mr. Cherrywood: We must try to scare it out the door!
Julie: Oh, alright..
Mr. Cherrywood: Here he comes! Here he comes!
[ they swat their racquets at the bird, causing him to dash back outdoors; they quickly close the doors, laugh the incident off, then slowly gaze into one another’s eyes and fall into a passionate kiss ]Julie: [ fights herself off Mr. Cherrywood’s lips ] I must go. [ runs off ]
Mr. Cherrywood: But, Julie? JUlie!
Maid: [ enters room ] Your tea, Mr. Cherrywood. Where would you like it?
Mr. Cherrywood: Oh, over there is fine. Just put it anywhere..
Maid: [ drops the tray to the floor ] Oh, no! I’m so clumsy! Why did I do that!
Mr. Cherrywood: [ bends down to help ] Oh, don’t worry.. it’s nothing! Here, let me help you..
Maid: Oh, no, you musn’t! It’s my fault, not..
[ their eyes meet, and they fall into a passionate embrace until interrupted ]Madam: Well.. isn’t this a pretty sight.
Maid: Oh, Madam.. oh.. I was.. just bringing the gentleman his tea, and I tripped.. and he was just being kind to me..
Madam: I can see that. You may go now.
Maid: Yes, Ma’am.. [ stumbles out of room ]
Madam: Mr. Cherrywood, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave Greenhilly.
Mr. Cherrywood: Leave Greenhilly? But why?
Madam: You’re having a very disruptive effect on everyone in the household.
Mr. Cherrywood: What are you talking about?
Madam: Why, even now there’s lipstick all over your face. hold still..
Mr. Cherrywood: Oh, now, don’t bother..
[ she wipes the lipstick off of his face, but also falls prey to his charms, ending in a passionate kiss with him ]Harry: [ enters, angry ] Just as I thought!
Madam: Harry!! It’s not what it seems!
Harry: Prepare to defend yourself, Mr. Cherrywood! If that’s your real name
Madam: [ runs off ] Oh, help! Someone, please help!
[ the two men exchange punches; Mr. Cherrywood strongholds Harry, who gives up his struggle, looks into Mr. Cherrywood’s eyes and locks himself in a passionate embrace, then quickly breaks free ]Harry: Well.. I’ll be gonig now.. [ walks out ]
Mr. Cherrywood: But, Harry! Harry! [ spies a dog clawing at the window ] Why, where did you come from? You’re a happy little doggie, aren’t you? Let’s just find out who you belong to. [ tugs dog’s collar, as their eyes fixate on one anothers, and they, too, fall into a passionate embrace ] [ dissolve to title; fade to black ]
