SNL Transcripts: Andrew Dice Clay: 05/12/90


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 15: Episode 19

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


May 12th, 1990

Andrew Dice Clay

Spanic Boys

Julee Cruise


Rob Schneider
It’s A Wonderful DiceSummary: Depressed by the negative publicity surrounding his upcoming hosting gig, Andrew “Dice” Clay wishes he had never been born, prompting Mephistopheles (Jon Lovitz) to show him what “Saturday Night Live” would be like without him.

Recurring Characters: Mephistopheles, Frank Zappa.


MontageNote: Nora Dunn is credited even though she willingly doesn’t appear in tonight’s episode.

Andrew Dice Clay’s MonologueSummary: Andrew Dice Clay performs stand-up that employs his repository of “clean” jokes.


Diceman Employment Agency

TV Guide JeersRecurring Characters: Adolph Hitler.

Cooking With the Anal-Rententive ChefSummary: Anal-retentive Gene (Phil Hartman) is joined in the kitchen by his mother (Jan Hooks).

Recurring Characters: Anal-Retentive Gene.

Spanic Boys perform “Keep On Walking”

Weekend Update with Dennis MillerRecurring Characters: Annoying Man, Michael J. Fox.

Dad, What’s Sex?Summary: Andrew Dice Clay stars in an Afterschol Special, in which he thoughtfully teaches his son (Mike Myers) about sex with the help of his own vernacular.


WPLISummary: Tony Trailer.

Jan Hooks’ Personal Protest

Cool Mite

Julee Cruise performs “Falling”

Ridiculous BullSummary: Jake LaMotta (Andrew Dice Man) tells his brother Joey (Jon Lovitz) to smash large household appliances over his head.


Kevin Nealon’s Personal ProtestSummary: Kevin Nealon protests Andrew Dice Clay’s hosting by only appearing in a small handful of sketches.



SNL Transcripts | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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