Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 15: Episode 19
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
May 12th, 1990
Andrew Dice Clay
Spanic Boys
Julee Cruise
None
Rob Schneider
It’s A Wonderful DiceSummary: Depressed by the negative publicity surrounding his upcoming hosting gig, Andrew “Dice” Clay wishes he had never been born, prompting Mephistopheles (Jon Lovitz) to show him what “Saturday Night Live” would be like without him.
Recurring Characters: Mephistopheles, Frank Zappa.
Transcript
MontageNote: Nora Dunn is credited even though she willingly doesn’t appear in tonight’s episode.
Andrew Dice Clay’s MonologueSummary: Andrew Dice Clay performs stand-up that employs his repository of “clean” jokes.
Transcript
Diceman Employment Agency
TV Guide JeersRecurring Characters: Adolph Hitler.
Cooking With the Anal-Rententive ChefSummary: Anal-retentive Gene (Phil Hartman) is joined in the kitchen by his mother (Jan Hooks).
Recurring Characters: Anal-Retentive Gene.
Spanic Boys perform “Keep On Walking”
Weekend Update with Dennis MillerRecurring Characters: Annoying Man, Michael J. Fox.
Dad, What’s Sex?Summary: Andrew Dice Clay stars in an Afterschol Special, in which he thoughtfully teaches his son (Mike Myers) about sex with the help of his own vernacular.
Transcript
WPLISummary: Tony Trailer.
Jan Hooks’ Personal Protest
Cool Mite
Julee Cruise performs “Falling”
Ridiculous BullSummary: Jake LaMotta (Andrew Dice Man) tells his brother Joey (Jon Lovitz) to smash large household appliances over his head.
Transcript
Kevin Nealon’s Personal ProtestSummary: Kevin Nealon protests Andrew Dice Clay’s hosting by only appearing in a small handful of sketches.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
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