SNL Transcripts: George Steinbrenner: 10/20/90: George Steinbrenner’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 16: Episode 3

90c: George Steinbrenner / The Time

George Steinbrenner’s Monologue

…..George Steinbrenner

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman — George Steinbrenner!

[ Cheers and applause. ]

George Steinbrenner: Thank you! Thank you very, very much! Thank you!Thank you! I’m really excited tonight. I want you all to know that, at 11:15tonight, I bought the Cincinnati Reds.

Anyway, it’s great to be here. You know, this show traditionally has twokinds of hosts — entertainers; you know, actors, comedians… And thenbeloved figures from other walks of life.

Now, I’m not an actor. Never been in a movie or a TV series. Not even acomedian! Don’t do impressions and I’m not even good at snappy comebacks.I don’t do schtick and I’m not a singer. Not gonna put on a dress and singold Judy Garland songs. I’m not a contortionist and I’m not gonna put on astraightjacket and be submerged in a tank of water. I’m not gonna catch abullet in my teeth… I hope. Or eat 100 eggs…

By no reasonable definition of the word can I be considered an”entertainer”. I’m not gonna wear a beard of bees or drink kerosene and doburps. No way! I’m just not an entertainer.

So the way I see it, if I’m not an entertainer, I must fall into thatother category: beloved Americans from another walk of life. Anyway, wegot a terrific show for you tonight! A great musical group is here: TheTime!

[ Cheers and applause. ]

George Steinbrenner: Everyone working here is underpaid… all you guys!So, Lou won the big game, 2-1.

[ Mixed reaction from the audience. ]

George Steinbrenner: So let’s stick around! You’re gonna have a greattime! And we’ll be right back!

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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