Verbal Reversals


Verbal Reversals

Partner…..Dana Carvey
Frank…..Jimmy Smits
Detective…..Chris Farley

[ open on interior, Precinct 17 Squad Room, as detective partners put away their report files ]

Partner: Well. I guess that case is finished.

Frank: Or maybe it’s.. just beginning.

Partner: [ chuckles ] No, it’s finished. Remember? We finished it.

Frank: In a way.. maybe it.. finished us.

Partner: [ chuckles ] Well.. I just know I, you know, wouldn’t want to go through that again. I think it might drive us crazy.

Frank: Or keep us sane.

[ they sit down at their desk ]

Partner: Well, anyway, we solved the case. I guess that’s what really matters.

Frank: Well.. did we solve the case? Or.. did the case solve us?

Partner: Wha-what do you mean? That doesn’t even make sense!

Frank: Sometimes, the things that don’t make sense.. make the most sense of all.

[ pause ]

Partner: Well.. well, I wouldn’t know about that. [ grimaces as he drinks from a cup of coffee ] I do know that this is the worst coffee I’ve ever had.

Frank: Or maybe the best.

Partner: [ annoyed ] You know something, Frank? Whenever anyone says anything, you’ve gotta say the opposite, just to make yourself look smart!

Frank: Or maybe to look dumb.

Partner: You’re doing it again!

Frank: Am I?

Partner: [ angry ] I’m going to have to kill you.

Frank: Maybe by killing me, you’ll be giving me life.

Partner: Stop it! Stop it right now!

Frank: Maybe by stopping it now, I’ll be continuing later.

Partner: [ shoots Frank in the heart ]

Frank: Maybe- [ drops dead, facefirst across the desk ] [ Detective walks up ]

Detective: Killed your partner, huh?

Partner: Yeah. But.. maybe in a way, my partner killed me.

Detective: Uh-oh. Now you’re doing it.

Partner: Maybe by doing it, I’m.. not.. doing it.

Detective: Only, you’re not as good at it. [ a beat ] Hey, let’s get a bite to eat. [ eyes spark ] Or.. let’s let a bite.. get.. us.. something to eat.

[ they nod at each other and smile satisfactorily to fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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