Nikey Turkey


Nikey Turkey

Spokesperson…..Chris Rock

[ open on a spray-painted kitchen scene, with family at table – rapper guys and rapper girls enter through door and window ]

Spokesperson: [ singing ]
“Holiday time, everyone, every brother
Shows up for dinner with my father and mother
Family at the table getting crazy and loud,

Grandmother at table: “Ain’t enough turkey to feed this crowd!

Family at table: The bird’s too small
To feed us all!”

[ turkey is revealed to have a pump on it, like a sneaker. Spokespersonpumps up the turkey. ]

Spokesperson: “But yo mamma says pump it!
Pump it up now!
Pump it!”

Rapper guys: “Get a Nikey Turkey and pump it!”

Rapper girls: “Make it big now!”

Spokesperson: “Pump it!”

Rapper girls: Pump it up! Pump it up!

[ Cut to next scene: Super: “Massachusetts, 1620.” Spray painted sign of Plymouth Rock, then to colonial America scene, Spokesperson and family are dressed as pilgrims, rapper guys and girls are dressed as Indians. ]

Spokesperson: “The first turkey dinner was 1620
The pilgrims had it in the land of plenty
Nothing was chill with the harvest down,
But the red brother knew he had enough to go around
He knew to pump it!”

[ rapper guy pumps up turkey ]

“Pump it up now!
Pump the bird!
Pump it!”

Rapper girls: “Make it big now!
Pump it!
Pump it up! Pump it up!”

[ back to the kitchen scene, everyone is dressed the same way they werebefore in the kitchen scene. ]

Spokesperson: “So if your holiday table ain’t looking too full,
Get a Nikey Turkey-it’s adjustable,
And pump it!
Pump it up! Pump it up!”

Announcer: If it doesn’t say Nikey, it’s not a turkey.

Thanks to Tony DuMontfor this transcript.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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