Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 16: Episode 11
The Richmeister
Tom…..Mike Myers
Richmeister…..Rob Schneider
Randy…..Kevin Nealon
Steve…..Phil Hartman
Sandy…..Julia Sweeney
…..Sting
Richmeister: Tom! Tommy!
Tom: Hey Richard, Im just making some copies.
Richmeister: The Tomster! Tom-Man! Tom-Tom!
Tom: How you doing, Richard?
Richmeister: The Tomster, makin copies! Mr. Tom! Tommy!
Tom: Yeah, see ya. [exits]
Richmeister: Tom! [Randy enters the copy room] Bill! Billy! The Billster! Bill-Man! Billy Bill Bill!
Randy: [annoyed] The name is Randy!
Richmeister: Randy! The Randster! Only one copy for the Randman! [Randy leaves] Randy! [Steve and Sandy enter] Steve and Sandy, makin copies! The Steve-Man and the Sandster, makin copies!
Steve: [to Sandy] Who is this guy, do you know him?
Sandy: Dont worry about him, hes just Richard Laymer. Its just his way of trying to be nice. [to Richard] Hi, Richard!
Richmeister: The Sandster, saying hi! Sandy and Steve!
Steve: Its kind of annoying; maybe somebody ought to talk to him.
Richmeister: Steve-o-rama! Steve-o-ramavitch!
Sandy: Weve all tried, theres nothing we can do.
Richmeister: All right! Steve-Os finished with the copies! Sandys turn! Sandita! [Steve approaches Richmeister]
Steve: Hey guy, whatre you working on here?
Richmeister: Steve-o-rino!
Steve: Uh, you work for the accounting department, I guess, huh?
Richmeister: Steve-O!
Steve: So how do you like it here?
Richmeister: All right! Steve-o-rolo! The Stevemeister, askin me questions!
Steve: Well, I gotta finish my report, Ill see you later. Richard! The Richmeister!
Richmeister: Yeah, makin friends with the Steveinator!
Sandy: [to Steve] I think theres another copy machine on this floor.
Steve: Okay. [he and Sandy exit]
Richmeister: Steve-O, leavin the room! Walkin away with the Sandstress!
[Sting enters the copy room]Sting: Hey Richard.
Richmeister: Sting! Dr. Stinglehoffer! Makin copies! The McStingster! Stingatolla! Sting! Stinga linga ding dong dong. Sting!
[fade to black]Submitted by: Johnny Lurg
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