SNL Transcripts: Sting: 01/19/91: The Richmeister


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 16: Episode 11

90k: Sting

The Richmeister

Tom…..Mike Myers
Richmeister…..Rob Schneider
Randy…..Kevin Nealon
Steve…..Phil Hartman
Sandy…..Julia Sweeney

[Tom enters the copy room]

Richmeister: Tom! Tommy!

Tom: Hey Richard, I’m just making some copies.

Richmeister: The Tomster! Tom-Man! Tom-Tom!

Tom: How you doing, Richard?

Richmeister: The Tomster, makin’ copies! Mr. Tom! Tommy!

Tom: Yeah, see ya. [exits]

Richmeister: Tom! [Randy enters the copy room] Bill! Billy! The Billster! Bill-Man! Billy Bill Bill!

Randy: [annoyed] The name is Randy!

Richmeister: Randy! The Randster! Only one copy for the Randman! [Randy leaves] Randy! [Steve and Sandy enter] Steve and Sandy, makin’ copies! The Steve-Man and the Sandster, makin’ copies!

Steve: [to Sandy] Who is this guy, do you know him?

Sandy: Don’t worry about him, he’s just Richard Laymer. It’s just his way of trying to be nice. [to Richard] Hi, Richard!

Richmeister: The Sandster, saying hi! Sandy and Steve!

Steve: It’s kind of annoying; maybe somebody ought to talk to him.

Richmeister: Steve-o-rama! Steve-o-ramavitch!

Sandy: We’ve all tried, there’s nothing we can do.

Richmeister: All right! Steve-O’s finished with the copies! Sandy’s turn! Sandita! [Steve approaches Richmeister]

Steve: Hey guy, what’re you working on here?

Richmeister: Steve-o-rino!

Steve: Uh, you work for the accounting department, I guess, huh?

Richmeister: Steve-O!

Steve: So how do you like it here?

Richmeister: All right! Steve-o-rolo! The Stevemeister, askin’ me questions!

Steve: Well, I gotta finish my report, I’ll see you later. Richard! The Richmeister!

Richmeister: Yeah, makin’ friends with the Steveinator!

Sandy: [to Steve] I think there’s another copy machine on this floor.

Steve: Okay. [he and Sandy exit]

Richmeister: Steve-O, leavin’ the room! Walkin’ away with the Sandstress!

[Sting enters the copy room]

Sting: Hey Richard.

Richmeister: Sting! Dr. Stinglehoffer! Makin’ copies! The McStingster! Stingatolla! Sting! Stinga linga ding dong…dong. Sting!

[fade to black]

Submitted by: Johnny Lurg

SNL Transcripts | Special Cable TV Promotions |

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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