SNL Transcripts: Sting: 01/19/91: The Richmeister

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 16: Episode 11

90k: Sting

The Richmeister

Tom…..Mike Myers
Richmeister…..Rob Schneider
Randy…..Kevin Nealon
Steve…..Phil Hartman
Sandy…..Julia Sweeney

[Tom enters the copy room]

Richmeister: Tom! Tommy!

Tom: Hey Richard, I’m just making some copies.

Richmeister: The Tomster! Tom-Man! Tom-Tom!

Tom: How you doing, Richard?

Richmeister: The Tomster, makin’ copies! Mr. Tom! Tommy!

Tom: Yeah, see ya. [exits]

Richmeister: Tom! [Randy enters the copy room] Bill! Billy! The Billster! Bill-Man! Billy Bill Bill!

Randy: [annoyed] The name is Randy!

Richmeister: Randy! The Randster! Only one copy for the Randman! [Randy leaves] Randy! [Steve and Sandy enter] Steve and Sandy, makin’ copies! The Steve-Man and the Sandster, makin’ copies!

Steve: [to Sandy] Who is this guy, do you know him?

Sandy: Don’t worry about him, he’s just Richard Laymer. It’s just his way of trying to be nice. [to Richard] Hi, Richard!

Richmeister: The Sandster, saying hi! Sandy and Steve!

Steve: It’s kind of annoying; maybe somebody ought to talk to him.

Richmeister: Steve-o-rama! Steve-o-ramavitch!

Sandy: We’ve all tried, there’s nothing we can do.

Richmeister: All right! Steve-O’s finished with the copies! Sandy’s turn! Sandita! [Steve approaches Richmeister]

Steve: Hey guy, what’re you working on here?

Richmeister: Steve-o-rino!

Steve: Uh, you work for the accounting department, I guess, huh?

Richmeister: Steve-O!

Steve: So how do you like it here?

Richmeister: All right! Steve-o-rolo! The Stevemeister, askin’ me questions!

Steve: Well, I gotta finish my report, I’ll see you later. Richard! The Richmeister!

Richmeister: Yeah, makin’ friends with the Steveinator!

Sandy: [to Steve] I think there’s another copy machine on this floor.

Steve: Okay. [he and Sandy exit]

Richmeister: Steve-O, leavin’ the room! Walkin’ away with the Sandstress!

[Sting enters the copy room]

Sting: Hey Richard.

Richmeister: Sting! Dr. Stinglehoffer! Makin’ copies! The McStingster! Stingatolla! Sting! Stinga linga ding dong…dong. Sting!

[fade to black]

Submitted by: Johnny Lurg

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